New to the group (praying this helps me)

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  • #46781 Report

    Lilly123
    Participant

    Hi I’m new to the group, I’ve came across it completely accidentally, well actually sadly googling how to move on as a single parent. I have two beautiful children , one is still very young (just turned 1) and I’m unfortunately going through a divorce. My husband filed for divorce, and he has the degree nisi, but will not complete it, I feel like it’s a form of control that he has this hanging over me. I feel so sad atm it’s gut wrenching. I’m trying to be positive for my kids, but it’s so hard. A lot went on in our relationship from his side, and I was miserable nearly every day of it, so I know my life will get better, but I just keep thinking how could I possibly ever be happy with anyone else as I can’t go through heart ache again. I’ve got a long line of abusive relationships behind me, and I always keep thinking what have I done to deserve this. I’d love any tips of how to cope, my oldest daughter isn’t my husband’s child, and I’ve brought her up alone since she was 3, so I know I can do this, I also have amazing family support. I just wanted it to be different this time but that obviously wasn’t my path. Thank you to anyone that can give advice in advance it’s so greatly appreciated

    #46786 Report

    Hey Lilly123,

    I’m sorry to hear of your circumstance. I hope you feel a weight has been lifted at least knowing that things are now moving forward for you.

    I think you have made two really big positive steps here, you have now made a stand in that you will not be in this relationship that is making you unhappy and secondly you’ve asked yourself why? You have been put in these relationships.

    I can relate to what you are saying and I’ve come to find that there is alot of work needed on oneself as to why? And to how we value ourselves. One thing for sure is the love our children have for us.

    Focus on building the best version of yourself and your time with your children.

    It sounds like you have a good support from your family, embrace it. We should nt seek out happiness, happiness should be found from within and share this happiness equally to those we love. Hoping that along our journey the bittersweets  get found out and you can always be vigilant to who is genuine and who carry a red flag.

    We are like a computer we need to reprogram ourselves and this can take time.

    Be kind to yourself and the future will be bright.

    Take care and best wishes x

    #46790 Report

    Lilly123
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your lovely words and advice, it means a lot xx

    #46821 Report

    You will be stronger in the end lilly123, you will see! And if your grinning your winning!

    Embrace those children of yours show them what life’s all about, what we have learnt and how they can improve the world, growing up surrounded by your happiness, leading them to be kind and valued individuals to society, enjoying life.

    Have a wonderful Christmas, you deserve it! Xx

     

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