New start, new friends
11 June 2019 at 5:21 pm #26313
So I’m new to the group, Ive recently left my ex partner and moved into my own house with my two children. I was with my ex for over two years divorcing my ex husband two years before that (as Ive been told, I do pick them 🙁 ) Im finding life pretty tough at the minute and feeling very lonely. I kmow I dont want to be in another relationship as the last one was volitile to say the least and it has put me off for life, but I just feel I havent many friends to pop out with or go for a chat and a coffee. The friends I have are all from a gym I used to train and compete at and due to an accident thanks to my ex I can no longer train and feel Ive lost the social side.
I think I was hoping when I moved into my new house I’d have neighbours to chat to but like everyone, they have families and their own lives.
Money is also extremley tight (as with everyone) so cant just take myself off shopping etc.
My question is….(and it sounds pathetic) how do I find friends? (emabarressed Im even asking!!) When I have my kids Im super busy running about for them, but they are 11 and 15 so not like I can take them on playdates LOl!! But when they go to there Dads I feel very lonely.
Thank you for reading…….11 June 2019 at 6:20 pm #26314
Welcome to the gingerbread forum ☺
It’s not pathetic to be asking about making new friends so please don’t be embarrassed, you will find here many people who are in the same boat and will totally understand. If you find responses are a little slow at times don’t be disheartened, it’s not you.
There are 2 particularly active forums that you might want to join in with, ‘Friday night online social’ and the “book club’, both have really great forum users so you’ll be made to feel very welcome.
Have you checked to see if there are any local gingerbread groups near you? They arnt just for folk with little ones so it’s worth checking out.
Having had a shoulder injury due to working out I know how that can put you off going to the gym but have you thought about going to the gym and training in a completely different way than you did before?
All the best
Mark11 June 2019 at 6:58 pm #26315
Thank you for writing back, no I havent really looked properly yet but that would be really good to have somewhere just to sit and chat to others in the same boat. When my children are home I normally run round so much after the I dont get a chance to breath but thats good because I’m busy lol
I used to do Brazilian Juijitsu, but last year I broke my ankle whilst sparing and had to have it operated on, I was out for 6 months and to be honest Ive never really gone back, I’m thinking of joining my local gym and start some classes but its all expense isnt it.
I’ll definitly have a look on here and try and join in some of the other forums. 🙂11 June 2019 at 7:49 pm #26316
Gyms can be very expensive, I worked out at home, obviously the set up costs were high but apart from getting extra equipment there were no more costs. I have tried to get back into it but my shoulder isn’t happy, besides that I seem to do nothing but work, not by complete choice, the government arnt giving me much choice but I do have the pleasure of either working with people I call friends or I’m happily challenged when getting greasy delving into the depths of an engine (Im self employed but that involves 3 or 4 completely different trades so I’m constantly doing something different). My boy is now 13 and quite independent which is both a good thing and a curse 😁
I’ve taken Jonathan, my son to various clubs like karate and boxing, these were mainly run from community halls etc so that lowered the cost, boxing was particularly cheap even though that was at a dedicated boxing gym. Perhaps if you stay open minded about what art you want to fight in and you shop around you’ll find something in your budget? Not only will it help you fitness wise you will definitely gain mentally from it although I’m sure that you already know that.
M11 June 2019 at 7:57 pm #26319
Hi Sam, sorry you’re feeling low.
I sort things into “with son” and “without son” now. Weekends when he is here are cycling and making pizza and doing school project (he’s a bit younger than yours). Taking him to play dates and swimming.
Weekends he’a away are shoe shopping, getting my highlight done, redecorating. Get the local paper, see what’s happening, find out where the nearest park run is – even if you can’t run, you can volunteer. lots of nice people to meet. I’ve done pub quizzes & art exhibitions, wine tasting at a restaurant opening, bird counting on the local reserve (with pub lunch provided). I hate OLD so this is my alternative. It’s a bit random sometimes but can be good fun & mostly free.
and when I can’t face it…. bubbly bath, glass of wine, pjs & fluffy socks, and the Friday night chat on here 😊11 June 2019 at 8:24 pm #26322
Yep I’ve done boxing too 😂 definitely need it to help me mentally.11 June 2019 at 8:29 pm #26323
Your definitely right I need to just go
out and do something, I did think about parkruns as they seem to have lots of people, I definitely will be at the back 😂 I’m not a runner but least I’ll be outside.
I think I’ll be joining in on the Friday night social, it sounds a good way of just having a chat 😁12 June 2019 at 1:36 am #26342
Hey sam I’m in the exact same boat as you I moved from the north west of England down to the south east coast now we have split up i hardly see my kids a new man is now involved and I have no friends or family down here I’m not looking for a new relationship either but someone to talk to, so if you feel like a chat I’m all ears as I could do with the company as well life is very lonely for me right it’s only the thought of my kids that keep me going