Hi Monkey1, first of all, you are not alone. Reach out to as many people (family, friends, neighbours, even strangers!) as possible. Get you and your baby out to baby groups etc as much as you can. Once you start sharing your situation and worries with other people, you’ll be surprised at how many others are going through the same or similar. The heartbreak is hard, but talking helps, and in time the pain will lessen. Let people help with babysitting too, so that you get a break to look after yourself.