So my husband moved out last weekend just as the lockdown was imposed. At first it was a relief, and still is to some extend as I no longer have to live my life according to his dictating and stress. And being in this little house with him being stressy and his OCD during this lockdown would cause me to have a breakdown. However, being on my own with 3 boys aged 10,9 and 7 all day every day with no end in sight has left me feeling very overwhelmed and daunted today. My 9 year old is also autistic and has angry outbursts, which stress out my other two. I am a Teaching Assistant so am used to be busy and teaching children in school. Teaching mine is no problem but like everyone else, you’re own children are just not quite as willing to learn from their mum! Its all just proving a bit lonely and the reality of being on my own has hit me like a ton of bricks, which I don’t think would have been so harsh had we been going about our normal routine. Of course I keep thinking of all the positives and have good moments but today I keep thinking have I made the right choice? I have blocked notifications from my local friends’ whatsapp group as they are making me feel worse about what I am missing without a partner to motivate me, exercise with me and do jobs for me and the kids. They haven’t been very supportive and haven’t bothered to check how I’m feeling at all. Everyone is very concerned with themselves right now, which is natural I know. My oldest group of girls have been incredible, funny, easy and caring beyond words. they are keeping me sane but they all live miles away so can’t even help with jobs. Anyone out there able to offer a glimmer of hope to get through these first few weeks of separation? even that would help at the mo.
Thank you
x