New single Mum – top tips appreciated
7 April 2021 at 1:02 am #52430
I am about to give birth to my baby boy (currently 37 weeks) as a 37 year old single Mum. I would be grateful for any tips or advice you have please – big or small. Stuff you wish someone had told you!
Ta, Melanie7 April 2021 at 2:15 am #52431
I was 37 when I had my first child, although I was in labour for 48 hours the birth went well. What I struggled with was the stitches afterwards and the discomfort. A blow up rubber ring really helped when sitting. When going to the loo jugs of warm water helped to keep everything clean and having plenty of pads for the first couple of weeks too.
When your baby boy is sleeping try to get some rest too and don’t feel guilty for resting you’ll need as much rest as you can get especially if your breast feeding. If you do breast feed try to introduce a bottle too so that you can express into bottles, that way your baby can get used to taking milk from both. I’m not entirely sure when it’s best to introduce a bottle, I can’t remember when I did this, obviously not too soon, but I’m sure your midwife can advice. Good luck with everything.7 April 2021 at 2:45 am #52433
Don’t let them boss you about too much in the hospital,if that’s where you’re planning to give birth.Not sure what the rules are nowadays but if you can get someone to be firm and clear about your wishes at the event for you that’s a massive help, bc you might not be too coherent at times.Too much interference and trying to stick to a ‘timetable’ causes stress and then things tend to go haywire.(I had an unpleasant time so decided to have my next two kids at home which proved to be a fraction of the drama and the graphics).Helpful to keep in mind giving birth isn’t a disease or medical emergency,it’s meant to be a natural process,but that doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park.Oh yes,and don’t believe anyone who uses the word ‘uncomfortable’ at any point.They mean ‘pain’. Ha. And afterwards your gna feel like you can do Anything!
That’s because really……you’re Wonderwoman!! You’ll see.
Hope it goes well for you💝7 April 2021 at 8:55 am #52445
Great advice, thank you! I’m ready to advocate for myself in hospital (I’m a nurse so have an insight into the hospital environment already…) as I know they can try to boss you around etc.
Fingers crossed for a good birth! x7 April 2021 at 11:37 am #52452
I’m 35 and had my little boy (first child) nearly 4 weeks ago. Separated amicably from my ex whilst pregnant and he unexpectedly decided to stop all contact having met a new partner a few weeks prior to me giving birth.
My advice is to be really kind to yourself. Cliche but so true. Don’t set too many expectations to do things or get things done. Let family members / close friends help but only if you want them to. I’m getting lots of offers but I don’t always want it and that’s ok. We are doing really well and in some respects I think we’ve quickly fallen into a decent routine with feeding and sleeping because there is nobody else here to interfere or disturb us.
Also, try to not read too much on some of the well known mums forums. There’s so many know it alls that would have you believe their opinions are facts. Best thing I can advise is that all babies are totally different and there’s no rule book. You will quickly get that mother’s intuition and know what is right and best for your little one so if baby sleeps well at night or feeding doesn’t go by the book, do not worry, just go with what you find works for you.
Oh and a downstairs changing station, swaddle blankets and nipple creams are your friend!
Please don’t worry, I really did and now I reflect daily that I think I’m doing really well and partly that’s because I’ve known no other way. You’ve got this!9 April 2021 at 3:58 pm #52595
When we had our first we were totally unprepared despite preparing for every eventuality. My wife (we didn’t know at the time) was actually seriously ill and it wasn’t noticed so I ended up staying in hospital with her and the baby. We asked the nurses for help as me being a then-typical bloke had no idea how to safely bathe or wrap a baby. The nurses are there to help so never feel bad for asking and chat to them when you can. They will likely all be mums themselves (the female nurses that is!) and stay off the crtazy forums and social media. Like another person said – too much opinion masquerading as fact.
Oh also – if you need stuff like pram/baby clothes etc then there are usually local charities and support groups can help as the new costs are insane. Am sure there are also people on here who have tons of spare stuff they no longer need as ours get taller!19 April 2021 at 10:49 pm #53064
Firstly for the birth/hospital bit, try to have someone with you all the time, I just had family visit in visiting hours and was convinced I was strong enough to be alone for the majority of the time, I didn’t want to burden anyone with being my ‘partner’ all the time. I regret that, I was tired and emotional and felt very alone seeing all the other mums had the baby’s dad napping in the chair beside them. The nurses seemed to forget me a lot and I’m sure it was because I had no one fighting my corner. That said it was obviously all worth it and as soon as I was home I was so much better.
Practical advice – I’m not sure if you have been told already (I wasn’t) but at nappy changes always point your little ones ‘tinkle’ down towards the bottom of the nappy before putting a clean nappy on or it will leak!
– pack a full head to toe change of clothes (for baby 😂) in your nappy bag in case of a poonami!
– if there is a chance of a c-section, over the bump maternity leggings are a blessing as the band doesn’t sit on your scar
– keep an old suitcase for clothes for your son to grow into. At the end of each season hit the sales, buy next years clothes for bargain prices (try to avoid characters/themes that might be outdated the following year) and put them into the suitcase sorted by size. This way you aren’t hit with the cost for a full wardrobe every time he outgrows a size. Charity shops and eBay bundles are also great for padding out wardrobes.
– table tots is a great place to buy and sell second hand clothes/toys. It’s like a car boot sale purely for kids stuff. I used to buy a stall for the stuff mine had outgrown and take a friend, one would watch the stall while the other shopped and then we’d switch. I ended up going with a lot of stuff he’d outgrown and returning with lots of stuff for him to grow into/wear now plus a bit of cash in my pocket if I’d had a good day, I never made a loss.
– as he gets older if he stains a set of clothes, don’t throw them away but keep them for painting etc.20 April 2021 at 12:33 am #53068
Thank you so much for all of this amazing advice! I’m 39 weeks now and feeling good xx24 May 2021 at 9:30 am #54602
Thank you all for your advice! Rowan is 4 weeks old now and we’re both doing very well xx24 May 2021 at 10:07 am #54604
Hey that’s so nice!! Congrats!!👶👏🍼🍾
Glad to hear you are both doing well,I hope you’re enjoying these first few months while he’s still tiny-they grow so quickly.Remember to take lots of pics/videos! You can’t have too many!😉4 June 2021 at 4:48 am #54890
Thanks for sharing. It would be great to connect with you to hear more about how your managing living on your own with a newborn.
lm trying to prepare myself mentally for this.