New shared custody arrangement

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    Hi everyone,

    Just wanted a bit of advice. Me and my ex split up over a year ago, we have 2 children, ages 4 and 9. In that time, for the most part, he has seen the kids every second weekend. Inbetween those weekends, he helped me out if required but did not ever choose to see the kids unless I too was going to be with them. We tried doing a week each for around 2 months but as well as him struggling with this, our daughter did not like it so this stopped. When we were together, he worked away a lot and when he was home, he relaxed a lot, although when he is with the kids, he is great. I have never been more than a couple of days without being with our children.

    He has now got a new job offshore, a rotation of 3 weeks away, 3 weeks home. He ended up being away almost 4 weeks due to delays. On his return, he has said he would have our 2 children for the full 3 weeks. The day he got home, he asked his friend’s wife to look after our youngest so he could take our oldest out for the afternoon. I offered to have our son instead and his reply was that it was not necessary as it was his 3 weeks so he will decide what happens with them in this time. I argued his point but did let it slide in order not to have a big argument.

    He has been home almost a week and again, tomorrow, he has asked his friend’s wife to have both our children when I am not working, for him and his friend to go out on their motorbikes. I suggested that i could have them and again, he said that it was not my decision who looks after them in his 3 weeks. I argued that i feel i should get first offer regardless but again, he stated that it is his 3 weeks so he will decide.

    Am I wrong in feeling upset about this? I will see my kids in the 3 weeks and it will be altogether with my ex there also, which I don’t mind, I am just happy to see them. I just don’t know where I stand legally in all of this? We have never had solicitors or anything involved.

    Thank you

    #61803 Report

    hi Muffins21, this is something our helpline could advise you on Helpline – Gingerbread  and also our webchat service which is open  Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays 10am to 1pm Webchat – Gingerbread




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