New, Scared, Young and don't know what to do? HELP!!!

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  • #29007 Report

    Dannyward23
    Participant

    Hello Everyone Im Daniel I am 23yrs Old and im abit stuck and would appreciate any help that can be given.

     

    I am Married but now seperated have been since January 2019 school lovers as they say 🙂

    Previously we had been together 11 Years everything was fine we moved out rented places had a caravan at our fav holiday destination was going on holidays we were happy as larry. Then the dark times came, I was out of work due to a hernia in my stomach that I dident want sorted yet as it had calmed down and the couldent garentee this would stop the pain. In the end had this done managed to find work and I have been there for 3 years now. Moved up the ladder as they say and done well for my self.

    Then money troubles starting hitting we had spent more than was coming in I was the only one working bringing in the money whilst she was sat on her arse (Exscuse my French) not doing anything hadent even done house work! Anyway time hit harder and we was forced to move back into her perants house as it was the biggest out of our familys.

    So we moved back in I had weeks holiday, now me im quite to my self like to be on my own quite happily playing games all day 🙂 Typicall bloke lol. But everyday of that we all I got from her mother was are you going to do anything all day all week.

    As you can imagine this got quite annoying say my wife down at the time and went look not being funny ive had enough of all this shit any more of it and I will leave im at breaking point.

    So I did in the end, Now living back at my mum and dads bless them. Inbetween all this was lies bullshit and her spending more time out with other people than her own husband. Hell she even spent our first annaversary down Oxford.

    As you can imagine I was one pissed off bloke at the time still is and now we have split we have found out we are having a child together. In the begining we both said we are going to be amaicle about this and work everything out together.

    Any time I speak to her its always money how much you going to be paying me etc,

    The other day she told me I have no rights to my son whilst he is in her womb I was abit annoyed by this and just loudly said BULLSHIT and then hung up the call and advised me to go take her to court.

    I just need some help Im doin everything I can and have no Idea at the same time please can somone advise me anything ?

    #29044 Report

    Godslove
    Participant

    Hi Dannyward23,

    I’m a young one here too.

    Best advise. Be as nice and understanding as possible, she is just acting out of emotions and looking for reactions. A lot is going on for her- definitely more than she is showing..

    As your working- I would say weekly or monthly (depending how long you have left) see yourself a budget and buy things as time goes along. Order it and have it sent to her house.

    Attend appointments ect and just try to be the more mature one..

    Maintenance is something you will definitely need to think about- or child maintenance will do that for you (thats if she claims)

    As for the comments and mean attitude, again just ignore it (I know easier said than done) and it probably Ps you off.

    Most of times when we are pregnant and not with our partners (even after having the baby).. there’s this sense of resentment we can feel towards Dads.. it feels like you guys can just get up and live your life however and do whatever you want- while we have to be pregnant, limited and almost have no life.

    So it may seem like it’s always money but we just want to and need to feel prepared before the baby comes

    Not taking sides- just trying to shed a little light

    #29064 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Danny, I can see how difficult it is for you but at this stage, the best thing you can do is be as calm & supportive as possible. Nothing else will help. Hormones do weird things.

    Will your wife need to rent a place of her own or will her parents let her stay with the baby? Will she want to stay? Maintenance is a sensible question so she can plan.

    Perhaps you could ask her what baby stuff she already has and what she needs – car seat, cot, clothes, baby blankets etc. Check out prices yourself, set a budget and offer to take her to buy specific items.

    Good luck.

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