New partner lives 300 miles away

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    6 months ago I met a new partner who lives 300miles from my current family home. I am divorcing my husband who wants 50:50 custody. I have tried to organise 1 week on and 1 week off for 50:50 arrangement so I can spend 1 week with my new partner and then 1 week with my daughter but he is unwilling to do this.

    The only way I can see this working is letting him have full custody but I am worried that I will not be able to keep up mortgage payments, live elsewhere and have the money to travel to see her.

    I love my daughter and my new partner but the distance is making me go crazy as I don’t know what to do. I think my ex husband is trying to force me away so that he can have the house.

    If I simply start to live away every other week will this jeopardize a court case? On the week that I am in my home town I will do all of the childcare.


    #30884 Report

    Liane 245

    At least you have arrangements for your new partner and its not just an as and when basis…..


    #30903 Report


    Your new partner knows you have a child, and what you are going through.  Is he in a position to do the travelling or to move?

    Its a huge ask of someone to give up full custody for a relationship that is only 6 months old and from your post it seems your focus is making the relationship work as opposed to it being an pleasant optional extra once your custodial arrangements are done.

    Relationships cone and go, but your child will always be your child and time spent away from them is time you can’t get back.

    If this new partner is worth their salt they will understand and they will wait for you to ensure a good pattern of visitation, and take a back seat while you focus on your kids.  If they don’t then they obviously aren’t that serious about you…if they do then they will have proven their commitment not only to you but also respecting your role as a mother.

    In terms of forcing away, it sounds like your mind is already 300 miles away, and that may be how he is interpreting it.. Maybe you’d be in a stronger position with the house if you were to make it clear your focus is your kids, and you are wanting to stay put no matter what to be with them and everything else comes second.


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