New on here, just thought id try it out as im just going round in circles! 😴

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum New on here, just thought id try it out as im just going round in circles! 😴

This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  LauraJ 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #27395 Report

    LauraJ
    Participant

    My ex partner decided life had all got too much, 2 months ago. He was struggling to pay the mortgage and wasnt coping with his depression. I think i tried my best to keep him going and as upbeat as i could but he’d just had enough. He went to stay at his brothers until i could get a private rented house and move out. Hes now moved back in the house. We have a 7 month old little girl and im just not coping at all. I miss him and what we had, i hate that he gave up on us. Its crippling me every day. I have older children to a previous relationship and they seem good now. All settled. Im just no further on, i miss him and im so stuck in this limbo! I dont know wat to do, just feel so alone. So here i am, with  nothing left to lose. My self respect and dignity are dragging behind me somewhere.  Any advice is welcomed x

    #27398 Report

    Wingnut73
    Participant

    Hi I’m new here too ( to the forum that is) . Saw that no one had posted yet so wanted to offer support. So if I understand it you moved into rented and now he’s moved back into the house you both shared together?

     

    has he seen doctor? Have you brought up the idea of counselling? For both of or even yourself. General counselling can be offered to you on the NHS, 6 sessions.  All the best

    #27400 Report

    LauraJ
    Participant

    Hi, its nice to hear from somebody thanku. Yes he now back in the house we shared together. The mortgage is in his name only so i had to leave. He says hes selling it as its costing so much.

    Yes hes seen a doctor and been put on medication. He used to be on medication when i met him but he stopped taking it. Crazy now its all over he actually went and sort help. I asked him to go when things were going bad. Maybe if he did things might of been different.

    I havent mentioned counselling as he doesnt seem to want to try. All he says he can concemtrate on now is working as much as possible. I dont know if he is or if theres someone else. My head is so frazzled, im still struggling to get my head around it all. I would of lived in a caravan if se needed to, i just cant believe hes let it all go to waste.

    Thanku for ur advice 🙂

    #27403 Report

    Wingnut73
    Participant

    I’m so sorry…to give you a brief outline my ex h left me and my two kids 4 years ago, suddenly unhappy after 20 years, 4 years later and he still causes me stress. He lives with another woman, ‘a friend’ he was talking to coinciding with his feelings of unhappiness. I trusted him to always looks out for me and our children but it’s taken me 4 years to realise that is not the case and the hurt comes over me again ( he just stopped child maintenance) . I wouldn’t dismiss the idea of another woman…but for you I would do what I didn’t and get your financial affairs in order to make sure you and your child are ok.

    #27404 Report

    LauraJ
    Participant

    Im so sorry to hear that, its just awful when u put all your hope and faith into someone and they toss u aside. Making u feel worthless.

    As for child maintenance u can have him assesed and have the money taken from source if hes messing u around. It does take a while but worth it in the end.

    If ur anything like me, i think you would prefer some honesty. To be living with a woman, that to me would say it all, ud think they would do atleast that and just be straight up! I find its the not knowing that makes ur head go..

    I hope u can sort ur maintenance payments out sooner rather than later. I have an arrangement set up with him but im struggling as im just finishing my mat leave and i was only part time. He was the main earner . Feel so stupid! X

    #27406 Report

    Charmie
    Participant

    You will miss him, but maybe you just miss the company?

    My ex left when my son was 3 months old… he’s now 20 months and the loneliness is horrendous.

    Having good friends or making good friends who have time for you would help, but finding them is the issue, people are always too busy in their own lives to notice how others may be struggling.

    you should hate what he did to you, anger helps and is a way to release some of tensions you are feeling.

     

    I am here for a chat x

    #27435 Report

    LauraJ
    Participant

    I just miss so much, i cant believe its all over. Im struggling to make sense of it all, im no further on than when it all ended!

    U sound like ur doing well considering whats happened to u, but yes ur right the loneliness is torture. I get into bed so alone without him.

    Im not really one for friends, i just try to keep myself to myself really. I suppose ur right though, it would help.

    I wish i was angry, but im just a broken mess. All i can do is cry, when he comes to pick up my daughter it kills me inside. When i see him it cripples me and i have to smile and look like im doing ok but deep down im dying. I just dont know wat to do with myself.

    X

     

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