new alone and terrified

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  • #34621 Report

    someonesomewhere
    Participant

    ok so a bit of backstory…

    me (19) and my (now ex i guess) partner (22) were together for 3 years, ive never felt so much love just its hard to explain how much i trusted him.. we had some issues, we spoke about seperating before when my mental healtht want great and he wanted me to get better and things and i would do all the things he wanted to make it work, i got a job, saw a therepist and thought we were ok. he planted it in my head to have children. we names our future children and would speak in detail for hours about it. i was always TERRIFIED o pregnancy and giving birth and everything but he would reassure me it would be fine, he would be there for me and we would get through it all together. so we stopped using protection, and started half trying in a more i hope it happens kinda way. we would take home tests and when they were negative we would cry. we wanted this… cut to the day before christmas eve, i had these night terrors the night before that he was leaving or someone else when i woke up and he came home i found out. hed met someone else theyd been having sex and and had been messaging eachother for the past week (the the point they were saying they love eachother like wtf) i did not expect this, i was shocked and hurt and i went a little crazy, ruined christmas for my family for being an emotional mess. then boxing day came, i just had this feeling and i took a test….positive. i showed him we hugged and cried a bit, then he left for this big party. he spent the party with this new girl and i didnt see him for well over 48 hours, he finally appears just before i left to go stay at a friends. im so alone, i honestly dont know what to do. he was meant to be here, he promised and everything is so ****** now

    #34634 Report

    RedSquid
    Participant

    I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. First things first, regardless of the pregnancy, you deserve better than someone that will treat you like that. As for the pregnancy, you have to do what is best for you right now. Are you close with family? Could you lean on them or a close friend for some support at this time?

    #34637 Report

    someonesomewhere
    Participant

    I am currently staying at a friends but i will probably go to my mums after a bit but we have a difficut relationship. and i just want him to get better hes sef destructing and i think thats why he did what he did but i know he ultimately loves me and we can do this together, but i am prepared for him to not want that. i know he’ll want to see his kida and be a dad but he needs to be there for me during this pregnancy. its all tooo much and i just dont know if i can do this but i need to i just have to do this. its just a lot

    #34642 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    You do have a lot on at the moment don’t you. But it won’t always be like this, things will get better I promise.

    Being pregnant is a fantastic experience for most women, it should be a fantastic experience for you too. Yes the delivery can put you thru your paces but it’s soon forgotten about for some incredible reason 🙂 It isn’t something to be terrified of, more something to be amazed at as you little one grows.

    As for dad, sorry but it doesn’t sound to me like he is going to be there for you, he doesn’t sound grown up enough to support you so get your friends behind you, get people who love you behind you and you can do this. Maybe your relationship with your mum could improve one she knows her daughter is going to be a mummy, you might be suprised how much she may want to look after you.

    Your going to be ok, there are always people on here you can get help from just when you need that support. Be very good to yourself, look after yourself because you are the most important person to your little one and prob always will be xx

     

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