Never meet anyone again
9 April 2020 at 6:25 pm #38811
I have recently separated from my ex partner. We have a 3 year old son together.
I’m 32 and I’m scared that I’ll never meet anyone in the future because I have a child. I think I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life because I have a son. I’m scared that women will see him as baggage and not be interested in me. How do I change my mindset to think that I can easily find a new partner? I feel meeting someone is very hard because I am shy and can’t chat women up and women don’t approach me.
I’m looking for some positive comments around meeting someone new.10 April 2020 at 12:02 am #38814
Most people feel like this after a break up. It can take a while to get a new routine and new habits and hobbies and see yourself as an individual rather than part of a couple or as a parent or family.
Try focusing on yourself for a while and someone will come along.
As a parent I now find myself more attracted to men with children as they are more likely understand what comes with dating with children etc and I’m sure I’m not the only one. So for many women, you having a child will be a positive, not a negative 🙂10 April 2020 at 11:56 am #38817
These feeling are completely normal but you will be surprised the amount of single mums who would actually prefer to be in a relationship with a single father.11 April 2020 at 8:38 pm #38846
I need to change my mindset. I can’t stop thinking that I’ve ruined my chances of finding love because I have a child.11 April 2020 at 9:41 pm #38851
It sounds like it’s still early days for you but you will get there. But if a woman sees your child as baggage then she clearly isn’t the person for you as you and your child deserve more than that14 April 2020 at 9:01 pm #38995
Hi louwhit. Thanks for your reply it really helps.
I think it would be an issue for younger women but not so much older women around my age.14 April 2020 at 10:30 pm #38998
Don’t put so much pressure on your self to find love again,concentrate on yourself first,if a woman doesn’t want to date you as you have a child she ain’t worth it,your confidence will get better in time,I’m looking forward to meeting single mums and I’m a really shy guy but I built confidence by talking to people15 April 2020 at 10:29 am #39003
you do have to change your mindset. Firstly give yourself time, that’s what I’ve been told.
Second of all: I guarantee you have more chance to find love again at 32 than me. What are my chances at 46 with 2 living in children ? 🙂 I will end up as forever alone cat lady 😉
Take care !15 April 2020 at 11:15 am #39006
I’m in a mindset where I still think there is a special someone out there for everyone and when it happens it happens15 April 2020 at 1:59 pm #39014
It’s a good mindset to have. I think i might have missed my window though. But again, i am not in a good place myself atm.15 April 2020 at 2:10 pm #39016
DoHassenpflug you’re still young, plenty of time to find love.
Jsmoove thanks for your comments they really help15 April 2020 at 2:13 pm #39017
If it makes you feel any better, I met my partner a year ago – he has two children, so do I…he had had a very messy and nasty break up (not caused by him) and his confidence had taken a huge knock – he’d felt the same…didn’t think anyone would be interested in him but it really was just his mindset and lack of self confidence. I would highly recommend ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ – it’s an easy read and can really help change your mindset. Look at your 3 year old as an asset to finding someone else – I actively looked for someone with children as otherwise how would they fit into my lifestyle with my kids? If you are a dedicated father, women respect that and it gives you instant credit for looking like a good guy – dependable, committed and caring…and most women look for those things in a man.
Also, obviously not at the moment (but gives you a bit of time to sort an online profile out! ;-)…..when the world is normal and you are ready to start dating…..just remember…you have to be in it to win it!! Sitting around waiting to naturally meet someone and you may not….you’ve gotta be an active participant! Hope that helps a little bit. C x15 April 2020 at 2:16 pm #39018
Btw….my boyfriend was also very shy (I am not so much!) and terrified about meeting me (in the end we met as a playdate with both sets of kids at a soft play because otherwise he wouldn’t have been brave enough for an actual date)….. but there are people who are out there that can get through that to the real you.15 April 2020 at 2:41 pm #39026
What age were you when you met your current partner?15 April 2020 at 6:41 pm #39037
40…..just! See,…..you have plenty of years on me!!