Never felt so lost

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  • #48740 Report


    My wife has asked me to leave the family home and I have moved in with my parents for now. It was my fault a co-worker messaged me and I messaged back, I did realise my mistake and made it clear I was very upset by what I had done and regretted it but it was to late. In the space of a week I have lost my home, wife and my 2 baby boys. I just cannot see a future for myself and my Wife has made it very clear she does not have any intention of letting me work with her and show her I regretted it.

    I know I brought this on myself and should of been stronger, I am truly disgusted in my actions and the impact they have had on my Wife and children. I am numb one moment and then overcome with emotion the next. Any advice on how I can stop begging her to take me back as that is just making it worse? Any advice on how to cope not seeing the kids all the time, I do see them most days but this is limited to a couple of hours before school or after.

    #48742 Report



    I think you should take a step back. give her some space. have a separation period. stop asking her to come back, it will just hurt you even more. also depending on some people’s personality, some get a kick out of it if you keep on asking, as it makes them feel very valued. If it’s definitely over, you may want to consider mediation about sorting arrangements to see kids. court action as last resort.

    #57035 Report


    Go out and buy some new clothes, get a new haircut, act like you don’t care. Appear confident.

    Join a dating app even if you have no intentions of meeting anybody. The responses will make you feel better about yourself and will give you something to entertain you rather than sitting stewing.

    Make sure the kids have a great time when they’re with you. Spoil them rotten.

    Do NOT beg her to come back. It will be excruciating not to contact her. But she’ll eventually miss you or decide they need their Dad. If and when she does message to ‘talk’, play it cool (remember Danny, in Grease?!)

    Good luck. Let us know how it goes.



    #57055 Report


    I would go with Steve3334 on this one; dating apps may give you a short term lift (depending on how insecure you are) but will not help you long-term and will distract you from what’s important.

    You don’t say how long ago this happened, so I will assume it’s very recent. You are processing a lot of emtions; regret, grief, anger at yourself, anxiety about your future..

    Do not keep asking her to take you back. What you did has hurt her enormously and she deserves space. She will decide if in time she can trust you again / take you back, and then you can go to counselling and do all the hard work that comes with recovering from infidelity.

    Meanwhile make arrangements to see the kids regualrly. You should be aiming at minimising the impact this is having on them.

    Stay string. I would also highly recommend you see a counsellor / therapist for just you. Men are rubbish at doing this but if you are going through hell, it really helps.


    #57066 Report


    Great advice from CraigH and Steve33. I did just that……….got a haircut (the way that I wanted it to look) got some new clothes (that I like) and kept away from to much communication with my wife (she left us) I have a 13yr daughter (the other 2 had previously flown the nest!) my daughter is so much happier and being allowed to be a teenager. if its meant to be, then its meant to be my friend

    #57083 Report


    Danny in “Grease”.. I liked that. I never saw the sequel though. Its not going to be the same as before if you get back together. Let her cool off a bit longer be amazing..

    #57318 Report


    Hey! I think you should go to a psychologist and work with the adlerian theory   .This theory will help you understand yourself and your values, what you really need right now. Also, on this site you can read “How to get your woman back” and so on. Recommend you!!!

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