Need some help

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  • #18151 Report


    am considering leaving my husband. We have a 2yr old boy and since I was pregnant he has been working away, and never there for me. he treats me like dirt….disrespects me, takes me for granted and everytime we argue he confiscates the laptop he gave me. Am in the process of starting a business. We had an argument yesterday and once again he took away the laptop, cancelled our xmas trip and told me he was cancelling the wee ones nursery….the argument…it was about where to put the xmas tree. He also lied about where he was on thursday night. He works away from monday to thursday, and when he is home, does not do any of the work with our son….I am left to do it on my own! He thinks playing with the wee one is being a parent. He calls me nuts, says I am imagining things, and laughs at my feelings.

    I have had enough and he will stop giving me any money….its how he controls me…..i was in independant career woman before i met him and am now a depressed wreck!

    i am going to leave but in the meantime, what can I do for finance….is there any help if husbamd witholds finance from his wife and child?



    #18155 Report


    The citizens advice bureau might be a good place to start. They can give you advice on any benefits you can receive.

    If you claim tax credits, you can claim as a single person even if you still live in the same house as your ex partner. When I seperated from my ex nearly two years ago, I spoke to tax credits and they said even though still living in same house, I could claim as single person, as long as he is not claiming in his name. They will probably ask for a date of separation.

    My ex was doing similar things to your partner. Best thing I ever did for me and my children was to get away from him.

    Good luck with it. X

    #18156 Report



    I am at present going through something similar. However, I have started divorce proceedings. I too had my own buisness, house, car etc when we met…..I am now totally reliant upon him. He is threatening via solicitors to close down his buisness so that he doesn’t have to pay me spousal maintenance ( which is what you are entitled to as well as child support). At present he is holidaying in India, while I make do on my overdraft ….. I am anxious, a nervous wreck and a shell of the person I was.

    He he is a covert narcissist, as all his “ friends” think he’s great. Really he is financially, emotionally and verbally abusive.

    Your husband will never change, I’ve spent twenty years of my life like this. This is just my opinion, but if you can make the break in a year or two you will be so much happier. Good luck.


    #18157 Report


    Thanks guys….I did not know about spousal maintenance….will check that out….and yea he is covert narcissist….all his friends think he is great! But his own daughter who is 22 does not want to have anything to do with him…..that should have sent alarm bells ringing….he is an emotional, financial and mental bully….I am leaving….just sorting out things, so that I will be ready to leave xxxx

    #18158 Report


    If you have a way of getting away now, do it! I had to, with the help of my parents.

    Just be prepared to fight fight fight. Nearly two years since leaving him, he’s still living in our joint owned house, not paying any child maintenance, refusing to cooperate with court orders. But I just have to keep going. It will get sorted in the end, even if it means prison for him!

    #18198 Report


    Hi Angdem

    Thanks for sharing your story on the forum, we hope that others can support you by sharing their experiences.

    If you’d like some advice on your rights and finances if you were to separate you can speak to Gingerbread’s advice helpline on 0808 802 0925.

    Lines can be busy but it’s free to hold.

    Take care


    #18199 Report


    He he is a covert narcissist, as all his “ friends” think he’s great. Really he is financially, emotionally and verbally abusive.

    becoming a foster parent

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