It’s been nine months or so since I seperated from my kid’s other mother (the primary caregiver), and while we were living in the same city it was fine. I’d pick him up from nursery in the afternoons, take him to the park or library, play with him, and spend longer playtimes together on the weekend with his other mother or with our friends who had kids his age.
In the age of coronavirus, that’s got a lot harder – particularly as I’ve recently had to move a couple of hours’ travel away. We’re still talking every day, and the Caribu book-reading app has been a godsend, but unfortunately every day he just wants me to read him a story and then finish the call. If I try and hang on after the story and ask him how he’s doing or tell stories about what’s happening with me, he stops talking or keeps waving goodbye or walks away. And his other mother isn’t any help, either, often failing to get him ready for a call at a consistent time or doing distracting things in the background when I’m trying to talk with him.
Am I expecting too much from a 3 year old? Is it enough for me to remind him of my existence, and trust that we can make a deeper relationship once his own emotional development has progressed a bit? I don’t know, but it hurts to have this distance between us.
I’ve started writing him letters and including little mementos of my life here – pressed flowers, photos, little trinkets, etc. I’m also really hoping I’ll be able to travel and see them again soon, though virus concerns do have an impact there. Does anyone have any tips for other things I can do to help manage this?
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