I have been divorced for 2 years now and have always been flexible with childcare arrangements. The kids live with me and Dad sees them one eve midweek for a sleepover. He doesn’t want to see them any more than that and does not have them additionally in school holidays etc. even though I am totally fine with that if he did. He doesn’t have them weekends as he says that’s when he does his overtime. He works shifts and sometimes only knows a few days before what his rota is. I have asked for a set day to be arranged between us for 2 years now and he just won’t. I want a set day so I am able to plan better and so that the kids have a set routine even though they don’t seem bothered that it may be a different time each week. He picks them up after school, they have their tea, bed and then he takes them to school in the morning. I have been getting more and more frustrated with the situation as I know he could go to his boss and ask for a set day off as I’m pretty sure they have to take parenting into consideration.
Last month I told him again that I want a set day otherwise I would be taking legal advice about a proper custody arrangement. I gave him a month to get back to me to make our own arrangements rather than going forward legally and he has just ignored me. Last week I told them that I was choosing days for him them so I have told him he can see the kids anytime Fri, Sat or Sun. His response has been that he is going to take legal action on the grounds of parental alienation. I never have and never would emotionally manipulate the kids against him. Would like some type of confirmation from you guys that I am in fact being reasonable and not restrictive….
You are being reasonable – don’t pay for legal advice yourself, it’s not worth it. Let him seek legal advice and stick to your guns. The legal advice will be to enter into mediation and might involve a parental plan which you can discuss with someone impartial to resolve the matter.