Need advice for mortgage and benefits

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  • #57667 Report


    Hi ,

    I’m married for 11 years with my husband and have 5year old boy. Last year my husband told me he doesn’t find me attractive anymore because I have put on weight. I am trying for year and lost 20kg and asking him not to break family. He still said he can’t stay with us. I lost my job last year because of virus and just started new job as part time because he doesn’t want to pick up my son from school anymore he just keep him on the weekend. He just put my name on mortgage but he is the one how responsible because I just started job  that’s the bank said.   He left two weeks ago to his mum and told me he is  not going to pay mortgage and rent. We live in shared ownership flat. I don’t have family here where I can go and stay. I want to stay in this flat but don’t know what to do. Is anyone have same situation ? Is there anyone know if I can get  house benefits ? Please let me know if anyone gone throw the  same situation and what happened.

    #57672 Report


    Hi Ak1984,

    Sorry to hear you’ve been put through this, it sounds very unfair for him to behave like this especially with so much effort you’ve put in.

    Sounds like maybe the issue wasn’t about your weight & maybe he’s trying to find fault & blame you. If he was a reasonable or responsible human he wouldn’t want to leave you or your child in known difficulty like this, just because he wants to leave… He’d give you time to get secured so his child was alright!  getting his mum to tell you he’s not going to support you & leave you in difficulty is a bit cowardly & childish.

    I’m not sure how housing benefits or universal credit works with mortgages or shared ownership, but at least it is something positive you are on the mortgage. If the bank says he is responsible, he won’t be able to just abscond payment or responsibility without repercussions.

    It’s probably worth trying to find specific advice on the gingerbread helpline, citizens advice. Websites like ‘turn to us’ & ‘entitled to’ can have instant result assessment tools for you to enter your circumstances & it will calculate what financial supports you could receive … You can easily change the details too to work out support you can get if you reduce or increase your hours.

    It might be worth trying to get legal advice as soon as possible, especially if you are married, divorce or legal separation can be complex.

    Hope that helps

    #57673 Report



    Sorry to hear you are going through this yourself.
    As previous person said you should contact Gingerbread helpline and/or Citizens Advice who are best placed to give you more tailored support.

    Couple of things here the person responsible for the mortgage is whoever’s name it is on the documents and you should advise your mortgage lender of your change of circumstances if you do not think you will be able to manage your repayments now with the change of circumstances.

    In regards to your partner as much as he has just walked away which is unfair on you, if he has bills etc in his name then he is legally responsible to pay them and it will be his business if he chooses not to and the consequences that follow.

    In regards to your benefits if you contact Gingerbread they will be able to check your eligibility to claim whatever benefits it is but be advised if you claim universal credit with a shared ownership property they only help towards the rent part of the shared ownership.  The online calculators aren’t always reliable and there are other things that can’t be factored into the calculations so your best bet as I said is to contact Gingerbread as they will do a calculator with a QBC calculator which is tailored for benefits.

    Generally people can not make a new claim for Housing Benefit unless they meet the special accommodation rules and people have to claim Universal Credit.

    You should also contact your local authority to see if they have any hardship grants etc available for people in your community that you could apply to if you are in financial crisis.

    I hope that helps!


    #57675 Report


    Just to add to my previous messages you should also contact your council to inform them that your partner has moved out so that you can apply for the single person discount on your council tax.

    Just remember as much as you may feel alone and overwhelmed there is always support out there and it’s just reaching out which you have correctly done!

    #57678 Report


    For weight  u can drink ginger tea with turmeric roots on mineral water boiled together  and I’m adding flanker seeds cardamon and cinnamon stick. I let out one sour room in my flat  so he got surprised but I kept  my mortgage.

    #57679 Report


    Best to use spare room to get lodger and u have money.

    #57680 Report


    In regards to the weight I think you should only be actively loosing weight if you are concerned about your weight and it’s causing you health issues. I wouldn’t encourage you doing it because he’s been passing comments.

    At the end of the day people’s bodies change with time and you shouldn’t have someone making you feel any type of way about your weight unless it’s your GP or yourself. If you are concerned about your weight speak to your GP who can give you support and advice, I wouldn’t recommend following any online weight loss advice.

    I mean no offence to you and I can appreciate you are trying to provide support to the original poster but I think it’s unsafe to provide weight loss recommendations as we don’t know how the original posters body would respond to any suggestions hence I said contacting the GP.

    Also the suggestion around letting out a room the original poster needs to check to see if that’s permitted within her mortgage agreement as with some shared ownership properties there are strict rules and could impact negatively if doing so without prior consulting.

    #57702 Report


    Thank you everyone I will call the Gingerbread helpline

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

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