Need advice adap

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  • #39719 Report

    Tina22
    Participant

    Hello

     

    I am new here. In my 40s…been in a relationship for 3 years..had ups and downs…after some stress last year I left my bf for I month as we needed space as things got ontop of us..I needed time out so did he stressful time moving into a house togther, ( lived separately before) money, Bill’s and changing of jobs . he gets on well with my eldest child but my youngest is handful..they live with there dad ..all amicable see them whenever I want etc….ut he couldn’t bond with my youngest and my youngest wasnt having now of it….I went back  after 1 month…all fine…usual stress of life continue as they do…2 days ago he was upset and stressed over something and his temper got best of him..been under stress as had no work for 7 weeks and no pay…he wasnt sure if he had job to go bk to with lockdown etc..so he blew..no physical violence…just threw dinner across the room and verbal swearing and he threw me out…I went to family. ..he has said sorry..explained he needed time out and took 8t out on me..but now my family dont want me going back..saying he is abusive and his outburts are bad…i am in my mid 40s..life isn’t easy..yes it’s hard.. what do I do…everyone is giving me there opinion on the subject

    #39725 Report

    Rute
    Participant

    Dear Tina,

     

    Actions speak louder then words. Words mean zero.

    There is plenty of fish in the sea.

    love yourself and find someone who will love you too.

    all the best

    #39743 Report

    Waunderful
    Participant

    You may be able to work things out with him, but I would say he has to get help for his  anger issues FIRST. Just because he had reason to be upset or didn’t hit you does not mean it’s not abuse.

    I’ve been in a similar situation. We cared about eachother and he would always feel terrible after, but it would always happen again. Always.

    It is your choice to make 100%, but it’s understandable your family are upset, he is hurting them by hurting you.

    Stay safe x

    #39744 Report

    Waunderful
    Participant

    Although as always, for what it’s worth 100% agree with Rute!

    #39785 Report

    Rute
    Participant

    Dear @Waunderful,

    I suppose by now we both went through the same experience.

    #39806 Report

    Tina22
    Participant

    Just let you know I met up with him yesterday for a chat…he wouldnt sit down . Just stood there…he had a whole attitude as didnt care..said he got fed up with Sunday cos of my attitude and he didnt want me in the house so threw me out….(background)..we got house year ago through council as was overcrowded in his flat cos of the boys as me and boys moved into his 1 bed council flat.. so got offered 2 bed house..I couldn’t go on the tenancy till year later as not in the area long enough and he was long standing tenant that was april just gone….he told me in April he wont put me on the tenancy as I got kids…as worried as soon as I got on it I kick him out…that broke my heart as that’s whole reason we got the house to be a family home. To.make us permanent. …my family said it was a control thing…as in arguments he always said my house,my TV my garden,  my house,  my rules etc…..spioke to him yesterday about alot of stuff and alot he blamed on me and wanted me to change. My.moods etc etc  but everything he did was ok..all his mood swings slagging off was ok as it was my fault..he was getting mad talking as didnt want to talk he just wanted me home….during that talk he said under no circumstances you will ever go on the tenancy so stop bringing it up….so in the end I said no more my kids come first..I ended it….I am devastated…never really thought we would end…..our belongings getting collected today as I cant face going back there..totally devastated….

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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