Unusual setup, dad is main carer to our son aged 9 (not court order) and has refused to ‘allow’ me more time. Long story, he’s a narcissist and I was forced into allowing him to take our son when he moved out. He was emotionally abusive and. I was worm down. I thought it would be a temporary arrangement as it was the only way he would agree to leave the home. I have asked so many times to discuss changes but he won’t entertain it. Mediation hasn’t worked and I still only have fortnightly contact on his terms. This has been the case for over a year.
I have recently got the courage to stand up for myself and applied to court for child arrangements order as I am tired of being dictated to about when I can see our son.
I have thought many times about not returning our son to him after my contact but general advice is that this would not see me in favour when it went to court.
I have booked a family holiday (I have 2 older children sole custody, not his) but he has now come up with saying he has made plans for a day out right in the middle of the holiday and says I have to return our son for this. He made the plans without consulting me, during a time that in theory is shared and contact had not been discussed. (school holidays we split 50/50)
He has now dictated to me the time I can have our son over the summer, would not give me dates of planned holidays etc to work around. Its all on his terms, despite me suggesting a weekly swap.
My question is should I take our son on the holiday and not return him for the day out? I don’t want it to reflect badly on me in court but I am desperate to have some say and take my children away together. I work ans this is the only week where I can get time off to take the children away.
I am seeking 50/50 arrangement in court. Possibly more if I am advised I have a good case. I don’t have a solicitor due to finances.
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