My Story. I hope this can help people.

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  • #19293 Report


    Hi guys. My name is Luke. I’m a father of a little girl. She is nearly 2. I am a single dad and I just wanted to tell my story and maybe it may help others if they are struggling in any way and have the same problems I’ve had to put up with and still do often now.


    So my daughter was born in April 2017. Me and her mother were together at the time and I was at the birth of my daughter and it was the most amazing emotional rollercoaster I have ever experienced and am likely to ever experience in my life as I’m sure most of you will agree. Me and her mother had a very on/off relationship prior to her birth and definitely both made some mistakes and behaved in a way you shouldn’t when being in a relationship. But I decided that I wanted to make one last go at it for the sake of my unborn child. So we stayed together, our daughter was born and at the time everything was great. We lived at my parents at the time, her parents lived a 5 hour drive away from us and were quite negative about her living with me and being pregnant (mainly her father). 2 months in I was going on a stag do for my boss’s husband to be, which I had booked a long time before my daughter being born. I asked many times if it was an issue to my daughters mother and she would always say no please go and have fun. She then decided she was going to visit her family 5 hours away while I was away for the weekend. Basically to cut a long story short, she never came back. I felt like my world had been ripped apart. My new born baby girl wasn’t living with me. Her mother was being abusive and trying to stop me seeing my daughter. I didn’t know what to do. I had made up my mind then that no matter what she said or did I was not getting back with her. We had broke up too many times and it was not fair on my daughter to be apart of that toxic relationship. So this made things a lot more difficult as she was being more abusive and doing everything she could to stop me seeing her. So the first thing I did was send her money via the bank every week. I then contacted a solicitor as I thought I am most likely going to be going to court. I saw my daughter occasionally when she would let me and she had to be there the whole time just to make my time with our daughter as difficult as possible. And this went on for a few months until there was a court date to be arranged and that’s when her and her parents started to cooperate more and allow me to see her more and even started letting me have her for the day on my own and with my parents. And then at Christmas 2017 a miracle happened. I at the time worked in a bar and it was Boxing Day and I was closing up getting everything cleaned and there my dad walks in followed by my mum holding a baby. At first I did a double take not having a clue what was going on until I realised it was my daughter. My parents had gone down to fetch her and brought her back as a surprise for me for Christmas. I broke down in front of everybody that was still in there. It was an amazing feeling and would be the first time she stopped with me since the split. From then on she stays with me a lot more often. We see her every 2 weeks without fail. She has even stayed with me for 10 nights a couple of months ago. She is currently staying with me now and has been for the last week. Don’t get me wrong her mother is still very difficult. Her parents are now a lot more helpful and we are all civil with each other. My daughters mother now has a new boyfriend who she sometimes thinks funny to call him daddy to her but I just have to accept that’s the kind of person she is. But the relationship and bond between me and my daughter is real, trust me.


    The message I’m trying to get across to anybody experiencing similar struggles is to NEVER give up. Yes it may feel like the end of the world at times and feels like pain you’ve never felt before but I promise you now it will be ok. If you make sure you do the right things always and make good decisions, you will be apart of your child’s life. We all make mistakes, but it is how you comeback from those mistakes that makes you the man you are. If you’re making bad decisions, just stop. If you’re struggling doing it alone, get help. Surround yourself with good people. Work hard. Be the best dad you can be. Be the best version of yourself you can be. And most importantly NEVER GIVE UP.



    #19371 Report

    Hi Luke

    I’m Justine from Gingerbread.  Thank you so much for sharing your story with the forum.  I’m sure your experience will give strength and support to others who may be going through a difficult time.  It is good to hear.

    Take care


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