My sons father is emotionally abusive.

[Dipper1974]

I need help, I was in a relationship with my sons father for 9 years.  I finally had the courage to end the relationship 5 years ago after years of emotional abuse.  My son is now 11 and is incredibly anxious about visiting his father and I have actively encouraged him to see him for the past 5 years. He has categorically told me he hates going there and is becoming more and more anxious about going to stay, he actually stays the night with grandpareoand enjoys that but is very worried and becomes withdrawn when his Dad is present.  I feel so terrible, I wonder do I have the right to not send him any more if he doesn’t want to go?

[Kathymumofone]

Your son is legally old enough now to make his own choice. Do you know why he doesn’t want to visit his dad?

Regardless, you need to email your ex and say that your son is experiencing a lot of anxiety and wants to take a break from visits for a while.
Perhaps talk to the grandparents and get them to understand what your son is feeling.

You need to stand your ground and be your son’s advocate on this one.

[ayce]

People who are emotionally abusive do this because they are upset and sad people who don’t know how to cry or talk about their problems. So they bottle things up and blame others. Truth is, don’t let these abusive people blame you for things. Refuse to believe it’s your fault. It’s not your fault.

 

Sorry about what you and your son are going through xx

[Author]

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