My rights

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  • #12906 Report

    Aakbabymumma4000
    Participant

    Hi there I’ve just joined.

    I wondered if any one of you lovely people could help me.

    I’m looking to know more about my rights as a single parent, I have a young baby, the baby’s father walked out when I was 9 months pregnant, and said he didn’t want to know, ever since the babies being born, he’s been around visiting.

    He keeps saying he’s going to take the baby away and  he’s got much right to the baby is me, I have no problem with letting him have access to his child but what I’m looking to find out, is if he does have a right to take our baby when he wants, at at what age? I think he is far too  young to leave me.

    It’s very hard emotionally at the moment.

    Many thanks

    #12913 Report

    AJ
    Participant

    Hi

    i’m sure lots of people on here can provide better advice on this than me but in short, if he has parental responsibility he could, in theory, do what he wants as he has a many ‘rights’ as you do. However, due to your child’s age, the fact he hasnt had much involvement before etc, he would be criticised by a court if he came and took the child whenever he felt like it.

    Your best place to start is writing up a parental plan if  he would agree to that. You can find a good one on the caffcass website. The idea is to write up a structured plan for when he sees the child. It’s not legally enforceable but is a good starting point and will show how reliable and amicable he is going to be. If that fails, you may need more structured help from a mediator.

    #12916 Report

    Aakbabymumma4000
    Participant

    Thank you AJ,

    I do want bubba to have contact with his dad, I will find it hard to let go, him being so young, ultimately it’s what’s best for the babby, I just don’t like the constant threats, putting somthing in place is the best way to go about it.

    #12935 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    As the resident mother you do have some rights more than him and the age is a concern. Try starting here:

    Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 9am-9pm weekdays, 10am-3pm weekends FREE helpline 0808 800 2222 http://familylives.org.uk

    #12942 Report

    Aakbabymumma4000
    Participant

    Thank you empty and Anonymous.

    We were not married.

    Bubba is 10 weeks old

    He said a good few times during my pregnancy that I was just a “baby maker” for him, and I was made to feel like our baby was very much his baby, being a first time mum, with all my hormones flying about, I didny find his  so called “jokes” funny. I was very hurt by him walking out, left me to prepare for little one on my own, he didn’t and hasn’t contributed anything money wise. I accepted he wanted out, and I’ve kept any feeling I have to deal with separate. I’ve allowed him access anytime he wants, and I’m always going out of my way to make sure bubba and daddy have a wonderful time together. It’s just my biggest fear that he will just take him away, I know he should be allowed to have his son , and I want what is best for bubba,even though I will find it hard. he does pretty much call all the Shots at the moment, he keeps telling me who I can see and were I can go with bubba, just to test me, see if I will do as I’m told,  I have stood my ground and went to see my family and friends with bubba. Most of the time I  take bubba to see his friends and family, again I have no problem with this, apart from wanting to go home before 10pm, when he wants us to stay,   I just don’t want him putting unnecessary stress on me which in turn will affect bubba, His family keep asking to baby sit, and get funny because I say no, I’m not readdy, somtimes I feel that they are all too much, but I want to keep it amicable, trying to find the balance, am I right to not want them all to take over or am I being unreasonable?

     

    #12943 Report

    Aakbabymumma4000
    Participant

    Oh sorry, yes he is on the birth certificate

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