My partner left me

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Jo.H 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #31822 Report

    Leanne michelle
    Participant

    I have been told about this group, I am new here. I am truly struggling and I don’t know what to do or where to start. I have a nearly three year old and my partner agreed for me not to work until we got free childcare as could not afford it, but he leaves me and I know have a house and bills to pay, I don’t know where to start. I get child tax credits of £4.31 a week at the moment, do I need to tell them I am a single parent now, how do I do that? I’m starting to panic about living and not being able to pay my bills. Really sorry if this isn’t something people talk about here, I just need some advice and my anxiety has hit the roof as I’m worrying and overthinking a lot, my mum owns my house, but she can’t afford for me to live here for free, she still needs to pay her mortgage on this house. If anyone can give me advice or at least calm me down with the situation I would be grateful, I’m trying to take day by day this last week but isn’t going that well.
    Thankyou in advance

    Leanne

    #31865 Report

    Lou1979
    Participant

     

    Hi Leanne

    Sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Has your ex moved out? if so then yes tell them that you are a single parent and that you have childcare costs.

    I am on Universal Credit and I get help with my childcare. they pay upto 85% and the other benefit’s (I’m not sure which as they all come under UC now)

    Just focus on one bill at a time and budget. Create a spread sheet and this will give you a clear view of what you have.

    When my ex left, I had no idea what money was coming in and going out as he had control over it all. now I know every penny that comes in and goes out.

    Good luck and I am here if you want to talk more. but you have got this.

    Lou xx

    #31866 Report

    Murraycooke
    Participant

    Hi Leanne

    So sorry its so scary when you first have to manage everything alone.  I called tax credits when I was first single and explained what a difficult time I was having and they put me through to their crisis team. They were brilliant, really friendly and so very helpful. Your mum is your landlady so as you don’t own your home you should be able to get help to pay your rent.  I would call them ASAP and it should put your mind at rest. Definitely do a budget that’s great advice, once you have a clear idea of what money is coming in and going out you’ll have a better handle on the whole thing. I can tell you this for sure once you take control you will feel so much better.

    It’s scary but you can do it x

    Lindsey x

    #31870 Report

    Jo.H
    Moderator

    Hi Leanne

    My name is Jo and I am one of the moderators on the forum. I am so sorry to hear that you have been having such a difficult time. I would suggest you call our helpline https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/what-we-do/contact-us/helpline/ 

    and one of our experienced advisors will be able to help you identify the best way to address the difficulties you are facing right now

    I also hope the messages you receive from other single parents on the forum will give you hope that things will get better

    very best wishes

    Jo

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