My partner left me and our 4 month old baby girl.
18 April 2018 at 10:14 pm #10317
I am scared to death. I have a beautiful baby girl but some days I wonder how I’m going to make it through the day without feeling upset or lonely. I attend baby groups to try and make friends but it makes me sad when the mum’s are talking about their partners. Them thoughts do pass but then I begin to struggle with my confidence. I want to spend time around these people but because I feel down I don’t know how to and I struggle to communicate with people. I feel lonely but I don’t seem to be able to feel happy around other people. I don’t know where to turn. I just desperately want to meet some genuine people who I can feel comfortable around. I absolutely love my baby to bits but I worry she doesn’t want me and that I’m not enough for her. How can I gain a confidence to not feel that way as I want to be genuinely confident deep down inside so that my baby girl can learn from me, and be confident and happy like her mummy.18 April 2018 at 10:25 pm #10318
The baby is only 4 months old. Trust me, she needs you. She has no one else.
If the break up was fairly recent, of course you need time to mourn that relationship.
As for communicating, maybe you’d be as well to also go to a local Gingerbread group if you can, or check libraries etc for details of single parent groups. At least you’re all starting at the same level.
As for the new friends – do they know of the break up? You may find them super supportive and much more understanding if you don’t always speak up.
All the best – it DOES get better.20 April 2018 at 8:08 pm #10424
You’re not alone, my partner left me when my child was just two months old.20 April 2018 at 8:28 pm #10428
Hi, I ended up on my own when my baby was also 4 months old, he is now 3. I can totally relate to your feelings of sadness when hearing other mum’s talk about their partners. Whilst I still do at times feel that way, the feelings aren’t as intense as they were at the beginning. You are bound to still be hormonal and I’m guessing still exhausted from the whirlwind of sleepless nights which hopefully will be starting to settle down. I know you’re saying you don’t feel like being around people and I totally get that too …try not to be too hard on yourself. Could you set aside a day or 2 in the week were you don’t force yourself to go anywhere unless you feel like it and also a day or 2 were you do attend a baby group. It’s important for you not to put yourself under too much pressure but also it really does help to get out and about. I found it difficult to go to baby groups too and felt I didn’t fit in etc. I continued attending various ones, and also making different friendships along the way …some lasted …some didn’t …sometimes only thing you have in common is a baby! But eventually you will start to feel a bit more settled within yourself …especially when your little one starts to talk etc. I’ll be honest …due to all the stresses I didn’t enjoy the baby stage and was riddled with guilt because of it. Now I’ve got through that stage my confidence has started to grow and I can enjoy my wee one, even though it’s still lonely and hard doing it alone. There’s light at the end of the tunnel …I promise xo22 April 2018 at 7:25 pm #10491
My partner left when my baby was just 7 weeks but to be honest before he left he didn’t do anything to help. She is now nearly 2, I totally understand everything you are feeling. I forced myself to go to baby groups but was so embarrassed I never told anyone I was a single mum, I became friends with a few people and eventually told them or some worked it out. You will be surprised how supportive they can be and I found several that had been in a similar situation and were now in new relationships. Two years on I am still close with a few and see them weekly.
Never doubt you are enough! You are your baby’s whole world, all she will see is your pure love and everything you do for her. All the little things we as mums worry about they do not see.
Things do get better I promise it’s just so hard to see whilst you are in the hardest part.
If you ever ever want to chat I’m happy to be in contact.