My kids dad

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Kath 2 months ago.

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  • #33139 Report

    Mumof2boyandgirl
    Participant

    I have two children , one biologically my ex and one not but brought up as if . We split up due to lies , other females and genuine in happiness at home shouting ect nt healthy . We are now divorced for over a year it’s being a struggle , he dictates when he sees the kids went from he demanded 3 nights at his house I eventually agreed within two weeks this was to much for him so went to two . He then gave up his house within three months to move in with his gf , my kids have nothing of theirs at their house my son sleeps on a mattress which gets stored in a cupboard and he says it’s uncomfy and he sleeps on the floor in the living room , my daughter has to share a bed (this doesn’t really bother me about her sharing although they should have their own stuff ) for this past year if I want him to see the kids I need to do the dropping off and get up and go collect them kids to then take them to achool as he claims he can’t . My kids have clubs and I work so I am constantly on the go so when they go to their dads it’s time for a wee break but he won’t listen to that . A few months ago I stopped the kids going after many cancellations on them and me fed up with his abuse , he emotionally abuses me and verbally and has also made up stories posted stuff about me on social media and this weeks one has now gave my kids permission to tell me to f**k off now , lucky enough my kids are amazing and knwo that’s nt a way to talk to any one . I receive text message after text me of how crap a mum I am and names ect after a while it all takes it toll and am stressed out . He also hasn’t paid for them , it is now with the csa but he’s clever he didn’t do a tax return when he was self employed and now keeps leaving jobs before the three months so they can’t take money . My daughter dances in competitions and I have asked for him to even help toward that and got told no . My son last week decided he wasn’t staying his words were mum can you come get me am sick of bei bc shouted at , both the kids tell me he shouts at my son all the time. He told me that the  days for him to have the kids couldn’t be the same each week so I agreed on the Friday when he got his rota text me the fri with suggestions that last two weeks then it turned to me chasing him again and getting abuse for it , he was meant to have the kids one night last week and I simply got a text “ am working now so can’t get the kids “ no sorry no alternative notshin and that was on the same day and the same Has happened yest , his daughter cried to me that she feels like he’s dead and doesn’t know why he can’t just come get her . I am at the stage I want him to go get a contact order. Cause I feel not only is he bring me down and affecting my mental health I could live with it if my kids got the best but truth be told they get nothing and with her saying that am now worrying it’s affecting their mental health . Thanks in advance. Ps even when he’s getting them I get a text to tell me he’s gonna be late again no apologies nothing he knows I have being late for work and had to cancel things it get my sister to babysit and he just doesn’t care cause his plans are more important than any one or thing else

    #33145 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Wow!

    How it’s possible! Just a father did something to you and his kids!

    Did you get any help from solicitor?

    • This situation create many problems for the children’s and i think your ex has an exactly plan for what he is doing right now, because you mentioned he is clever

     

    #33146 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    I don’t think a contact order will sort this out for you. A contact order can be broken without much in the way of consequences to be honest. The time and effort to keep going back to court when he keeps breaking the order will wear you out I should think but I don’t know how much you can bear in that area, we all have our own limits as to how much is too much.

    My advice would be to bring this situation under your control. At the moment he has all the control. He has control over you and the children. I would be sending him an email telling him that from this point on the only communication will be via email. I would be blocking all other forms of communication.

    Your children sound old enough to know if they want to be at his house, let them have a voice in what they want and then email your ex to tell him the contact the children want with him. He will test you by trying to bully you some more, you will need to stay resolute in staying strong in what is acceptable for you and you alone which obviously includes the children xx

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