my husband of 15 years has been having an affair – I’m struggling to cope

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum my husband of 15 years has been having an affair – I’m struggling to cope

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  • #39212 Report

    RickUK
    Participant

    I do everything for my daughters, even left my ex wife with our beautiful house so my girls weren’t having to move.

     It’s so sad to hear how some men behave. I’m so sorry 🙁

    If it’s any help, I’m also here to chat to.

    #41393 Report

    HB_ 69
    Participant

    Hi everyone

    sorry I’ve not been on here for a while, concentrating on me and making me strong again.

    today marks my 4 month ‘anniversary’ of the day I found out.

    life has changed dramatically but I have to tell myself it’s for the best.  Him and her are still together, he sees our son regularly, taking him for bike rides that sort of thing.

    I have sent the divorce papers off online and we are in discussions about the house.

    apart from that I am just taking each day at a time, home schooling our son, looking after our dog and working from home.

    i am definitely in a much better place than I was a couple of months again and I know things will just keep,improving.  Our son has accepted that we have completely split up and knows that Dad is with the women that he cheated on me with.  He is upset and angry with his dad for doing this to us but like I said he still wants to see him and I don’t want to stop that.

    if anyone wants to contact me for advice or is in a similar situation please go ahead, it’s good to talk 🙂

    #41665 Report

    SingleT
    Participant

    Hi All

    Just read your messages and had to comment. That was me 2 1/2 years ago. Together for 20 years, married for 16. He had an affair. It was like someone threw my life into the air and it landed in a completely different way.
    I was heartbroken and so was my son (nearly 14 at the time – talk about the time a son needs his dad the most!).
    I think I sleep walked through many days. But the one thing I was certain of was I couldn’t take him back as I’d never trust him again. So I took control and filed for divorce.

    I’m not exaggerating when I say I had weekly battles with him. He wanted to put the house on the market 2 weeks after he walked out! Like you I couldn’t afford to keep it and it was the only home our son had ever known. My ex turned into someone I didn’t recognise. I felt like I never knew him.

    The only way I got through was to make every decision I made based on the best interests of my son. It kept me sane and focused, and if my ex tried to argue he looked like a bad dad.

    We have been in new our home for 10 months. I am divorced, and my son is settled and happy again.

    I promise you you will get through it. And I know there are days when you don’t feel like you will.

    Happy to chat to any of you going through it.
    Hope my message has helped just a little. Take care of yourselves x

    #41679 Report

    Kerrie525
    Participant

    Hi im not much help but im in similar situation. My husband and I have been together 16 years and have 5 sons. He had an affair 3 years ago lasting 9 months which I forgave.. I took him back and we became pregnant with our 6th son.. Isaac died when I was 26 weeks pregnant. On the day of his funeral my husband left early and it turns out he had started another affair. He left.. I was devastated losing my baby and my marriage. Again I tried to forgive and he moved back in around February. When lockdown came he kept needing to go for drives for hours on end and yes… He had started another affair. I asked him to leave… I struggle massively with my mental health. My kids don’t want to see him and he earns a lot of money and doesn’t provide for them.  I am lost to say the least.. It hurts like hell.. He tells me he has been a fool but I am scared if I believe him that he will hurt me again… Sorry I am not much help but I do understand how hard it is

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