My husband left a month ago, our daughter is only 7 months old

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    Jadeivy711
    Participant

    Hi I’m Jade, 27 years old,

    My husband left me a month ago. he said he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. We were together 4 years and married just under 2. I’ve never felt so loved and respected in a relationship so the way he went about it all really shocked me. I honestly couldn’t have pictured this ever happening.

    After he left initially, he said he wasnt sure he’d made the right decision and I offered him some time to gather his thoughts and decide what he wanted. After a couple of weeks he told me he didnt want to come home. I was devastated.  The 2 weeks following his final decision he told lie upon lie. He doesnt have a stable place to have our daughter so i was allowing him to stay at my home with our daughter (and his other daughter from a previous relationship) on his weekends with them. he was constantly on his phone and not paying attention  to the girls and i had had enough. I kept asking him if there was someone else until he eventually admitted it. He has a girlfriend from 3 weeks after leaving me, just 5 days after telling me he wasnt coming home. Shes 19. He said he didnt leave me for her but i have no idea. Hes lied about so many things. So now hes having contact with our daughter through my mum as i can’t see him or talk to him right now. Our last conversation was awful, he was so nasty to me and hes been extremely disrespectful throughout this whole process. I just want to stop feeling like i am worthless. I have never struggled so much. I had a difficult pregnancy and have postnatal depression, so that along with adapting to being a new mum has made me moody and he said last time we spoke that he left me because i wasnt treating him well enough. I feel like hes decided to run away rather than support me as the mum of his child and his wife!! Side note: his new girlfriend is a diagnosed schizophrenic which makes me feel wven worse!!

    #29359 Report

    red23
    Participant

    Dear Jade,

    you are so far from worthless.

    In the long run you will come to judge him by all his actions, and not by the good way he made you feel when you were together. And from the sounds of it you may then loose all respect for him! And then his words won’t hurt you any more, because you will really not care what he thinks.

    Coming through this transformation into motherhood and tackling all the practical challenges of separation and baby etc. is going to hurt, but it will make you stronger eventually. Don’t waste your energy judging yourself right now, just because a worthless person wants to make you think you are worthless when you are not.

    #29368 Report

    Jadeivy711
    Participant

    Thank you red23.

    It hurts like hell but this is definitely the hardest thing I’ve experienced in my life so far. I hope you’re right that it’ll make me stronger.

    I’ll try not to be too judgemental of myself. Sometimes i feel that i am my own worst enemy as i am VERY self critical.

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