I found out my husband of 13 years was having an affair the day we went into lock down. He stayed for a month but it was a rollercoaster of anger, tears and emotion, he said he needed some space as it was becoming too toxic. He didn’t contact me for 3 weeks and came once a week to see the kids. On Saturday he told me the reasons he was unhappy and told me he didn’t love me anymore. He swears it wasn’t about the affair. I’m struggling with how he can just walk away from his family and life and not even try to fight for it. Things weren’t perfect but by no means did he act like he wanted to leave his life with me and the kids behind. Do men really just walk away? How do I move forward from here? X
Im sorry that you are dealing with heartbreak right now. You will indeed be going through a rollercoaster of emotions and anger and grief are just some of the things you may be feeling. However as harsh as it sounds would you want someone to be with you if they weren’t really in love with you or happy with you anymore? 13 years is a long time and people are constantly growing and developing and changing. Its not an excuse for his affair, he should have been honest with you before it got to that point if things weren’t working for him and there’s no excusing him betraying you like that. But as much as I hate to say it relationships do come to an end even when we least expect it. Just remember that just because feelings have changed that doesnt mean that there is a problem with you or that you have done something to cause this. Clearly he is dealing with his own issues at the moment and thats no reflection on you as a person its a reflection on his character. This will probably mean little to you in terms of comfort but at least he is still maintaining contact with the kids and you were both able to sit and have an honest discussion with each other like adults. Thats better than most as a lot of the time splits can be very ugly and messy and nasty. As hard as it is take some time to grieve the loss of your relationship, its ok to do this, but then try and take some time to focus on self love and your kids. Amd remember the kids are the priority in all of this. Im sorry youre going through this and if you ever need a chat just pm me, stay safe
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