my Ex is making it awkward to see my girl

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  • #18880 Report

    Themonk
    Participant

    My ex girlfriend is making it hard for me to see my little girl since meeting new man! I used to see my little girl three times a week (average) tues thurs and Sunday’s about an hour each visit! She used to message me every day and send me photos of my girl! Since meeting him she stopped sending me any photos stopped telling me about my girl and slowly started pushing me out! I’ve paid my money every week for a year and got extra things whenever my ex asked! Everything has broken down now and I get an hour on a Sunday at her mums! Where do I stand on rights and can I have my girl at my flat every other weekend? Also no violence in relationship what so ever! Thanks every one

    #18885 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi, so sorry you are having to cope with this.

    a couple of questions…how old is your little girl, and are you named on her birth certificate (have parental responsibility). Is your little one still breast feeding?

    Generally, as a non-resident parent, you should be entitled to see your child up to 50% of the time. In most cases though, where the child is small, and you have a good existing relationship with her, it would be normal for you to have her every other weekend and maybe one evening or overnight a week.

    If you aren’t on the birth certificate, you need to apply. Go online to find the form.

    Do you have a home you can take your daughter to?  When my child was small, the things that would have made me reduce contact were worries about drink, drugs, cleanliness, general safety etc.  What is your ex worried about? If she has a new man, she might want more time to herself not less, so her actions seem odd.

    Your ex can’t exclude you from your baby’s life, however, she does not have to send you photos every day or message you, or let you into her home.

    Email her (timed, dated), be calm & polite and ask her to agree regular access. Suggest  a routine that you can stick to, EOW plus a weekday  evening at your home.  Emphasise that you want to do your fair share of the caring so she gets some down time as well. If she refuses, you need to go to citizens advice, or a family centre or a solicitor, show them the email and ask for help. I hope it gets sorted quickly.

    #18887 Report

    Themonk
    Participant

    Hello thanks for the advice! There has been no violence, I pay exactly what I should be paying her! I have not made any threats of any kind! I am named on the birth certificate and the only contact I have is through her mum! She moved in with her new man after two weeks and that’s when it all started going down hill! She will not let me have my girl in my flat and I can only see my girl at my ex’s mums! I don’t even know where my little girl lives anymore! Citizens advice referred me to this charity and a contact number to arrange mediation! Really don’t want to go to court but seems my only way to see my girl on my own in my flat which I am more then capable of doing safely!

    #18888 Report

    Themonk
    Participant

    Oh sorry my girl was 1 in november

    #18893 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    So try the direct reasonable email, so you can show the court you have tried to sort it out yourself, give it a week and then definitely apply for mediation.

    I hope you see your little one over Christmas

     

    #18901 Report

    Themonk
    Participant

    Thanks for all the advice and looks like her mum got me an hour Christmas morning! Going to see how it goes in the new year……no point risking not seeing my girl Christmas Day! But definitely going to ask for more contact! Fingers crossed and merry Christmas x

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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