My ex is impossible to deal with, advice needed

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  • #32181 Report



    So I am a single dad of one 2 and a half year old girl and have been separated properly for 8 months. I work Sunday to Thursday and have my daughter Thursdays after work till Saturday every week without fail and more weekends than not till the Sunday if my parents can watch her whilst I work, I’m always the one to pick her up and drop her home and pay her £120 child maintenance a month plus £25 extra for half her nursery food for the month, plus I’ve always paid for extra clothes if she’s ever said she needs anything, but she always just wants more and is unreasonable with everything, if my parents can’t watch her on the Sunday she will moan and tell me its my responsibility to sort it out even though I have work sundays and she doesn’t work at all so there’s no reason she can’t have her back on the Saturday, and recently doesn’t want to pay her half for the nursery food and thinks I should because I’m the one who works when there’s nothing stopping her getting a job. Even though that’s 3 days a week she’s not having to feed her breakfast or lunch which is obviously saving her money there! She moans that my £120 isn’t enough for her and covers “nothing” even though we have her pretty much 50/50 and I have to cover all the costs at my house for my daughter too, plus when she’s at nursery she spends more time at mine than she does at hers, I just don’t know what to do anymore, she sends my abuse every week about something else and blackmails me saying I won’t have my daughter or only see her every other weekend when I’m on the birth certificate and she has no right to do so, I’ve been thinking about going through the courts because I’ve tried and tried but cant deal with the abuse irresonsible and unreasonable behaviour anymore! Any advice? Thanks

    #32187 Report


    My understanding of 50/50 care is that there is no maintenance paid from either parent to the other parent so you can easily stop paying for it without any comeback should you wish.

    The contact blackmail is a serious issue and she seems to think she has you over a barrel, well she doesn’t. She has no right whatsoever to try that one on. If she does try that on and won’t let you see your child I would be straight down to the courts to get an order that says different.

    I don’t know why some people have to resort to using children as a weapon to get what they want; she is clearly doing this but you don’t need to go along with it just so you can see your child. You do have a choice, you don’t have to accept these things.

    I would make it plain as day that the only way to communicate from now on is via email and that emails should only relate to your child, that should stop the abuse as people tend to be more careful what they say in emails rather than over the phone. If she phones you do not have to answer, just decline the call.

    Good luck with it all


    #32238 Report



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