My ex is controlling and is keeping my boy from me

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  • #53130 Report


    Hi all,

    just some advice please. I have a horrible situation where I gave up my son to my ex through manipulating and controlling behaviour after we broke up. I have mental health issues, so that is heavily used against me in this argument. I’m currently being kept from seeing my son and only have contact with him if I can get through to his phone. He’s 8 and so unable to go against what his dad is saying. What should I do from here? I’m so scared of what he will do if I call social. He’s already introduced his new girlfriend of 8 weeks to my boy and has her regularly there with my boy. I feel like he has shipped me out and the new one in, I’m only concerned for my boy about this. Do I just let a few weeks pass and hope it all changes, or go up against someone I’m terrified of?

    Please help, lots of love x

    #53131 Report


    Hey Ljack stay strong for your boy. Your ex sounds manipulative and controlling reminds me of my ex. I can only imagine how you feel right now but please stay strong and dont lose hope. If you really want your son back I think you should do everything in your power to get him back at the end of the day you are the one who gave birth to him and nobody can take that from you. I think it would be a good idea to also ask your son what he wants and what you think is best for him. Also i dont think you should be scared from your ex at all, you may have been at a really low stage at that point in life and i think most ppl have suffered some type of mental health issues but doesnt mean it should stop you from getting your son back. Praying you get your son back and leave me a message if you need any more advice x

    #53132 Report


    Have you spoken to the CAB? They won’t  call the social or do anything unless you want them to, it’s confidential and they will be able to tell you what your options are and support you through them.

    #53170 Report


    If he’s controlling and manipulative, call the Police if you have evidence… It is a crime and they are very hot on it right now.

    Book yourself into a mediator and invite him and then go through the courts, right now you have nothing to lose and if you want your son back in your care then it will be a long fight but you can do it.

    The fact you say he’s manipulative and controlling will be seen by the judges and that’s not healthy for any child.

    #53175 Report

    Hi Ljack,

    I’m one of the moderators here. Thank you for posting  – it sounds as though you’re in a difficult situation and it may help to get some specialist advice and support.

    Rights of Women is an organisation which can give free family law advice about your situation:

    There’s also information on the Gingerbread website about other organisations which give free legal advice and support:

    You may find it useful to speak to Women’s Aid about your ex’s controlling behaviour:


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