My ex is a bully

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  • #35953 Report

    Hi S.Lee80

    Its good to see you getting so much support from the parents here on the forum.  An agency that you could contact for advice and information around moving forward with arrangements is the Domestic Violence Helpline.  They may have tips and info on how to manage this situation.

    Hope that helps, Justine

     

    #35961 Report

    Here is the information again.

    • National Domestic Violence helpline – for support with regards to historic abuse  Freephone, 24-hour: 0808 2000 247 http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

    Kind regards, Justine

    #36182 Report

    Amb92
    Participant

    I had this issue and was told to have an email just for the ex and then just don’t look at it until the day of visitation. Mentally I can’t see my ex face to face or get messages etc so I told him I will open my door and my son walks out to him so I don’t have to deal with him and I put a communication book in my son’s bag so it’s like a diary and everything is there in writing. He’s blocked off my phone etc. I like writing about my son’s day at school etc in it but don’t get replies but atleast I know he is kept up to date

    #36493 Report

    NathanAnd…
    Participant

    That’s a smart idea Amb92 but my advice to you S.Lee80 is that you deal with a bully the only way one can deal with a bully. You serve him exactly what he deals you on a platter of gold. You can private message me and I can guide you if you want.

    #36496 Report

    Attica
    Participant

    Im just about to start using the AppClose app which is a shared parenting app- (it’s fairly new in the UK and is one of the first free parenting apps  out there that yo don’t have to pay a monthly fee for and it’s got good reviews). I’ve downloaded it on my phone and my ex has agreed to use it too. You do all messaging through the app (the messages get archived and can be used legally if you ever need to go to court), AND… (I love this feature)- you can also invite and add in other friends and family members (like setting up a whatsapp group), so they can also see all the messages between you and your ex- (and jump in to help if you can’t do a pick up or drop off/ need to communicate, he won’t pay half for stuff needed etc). You can upload your kid’s calendar and medical details, school info etc onto it, and it

    shared with everyone privately added so you’ll never need to communicate with him directly ever again! It also doesn’t allow any messages to be exchanged with swear words in them. Im keeping my fingers crossed.

    #36504 Report

    Tonia
    Participant

    This was me a couple of months ago.. i left him when i was 7months pregnant and he came back few days after i had my baby to start bullying me to come back to him saying he won’t have his child grow up with separate parents.. i had to report to my midwife and the authorities about the abuse i went through while with him.. in my case I didn’t name him in the birth certificate I changed my address and cut all ties and i have never been happier.. ofcourse he dissapeard because he never really cared about the baby.. you can report him to authorities or any of the abuse team.. they don’t like that

    #36594 Report

    S.Lee80
    Participant

    I have contacted woman’s aid and the police about this. But my ex still continues to bully me. It is more like a controlling behaviour too. He is trying to keep me on the leash. He is also controlling our son and it is making me sick.

    #36636 Report

    Lifeiscomplex
    Participant

    Hi there. I have a similar problem. It is like my ex constantly needs to be contact with me even though it is very negative. In his eyes when I left him, I took his financial comfort blanket away because he expects everyone else to pay him. It starts from how his Mum treated him frankly. (Take care Mums how you treat your sons!!). He constantly wants to catch me out, threaten me with court, moans about how I have made him bankrupt (sadly he has found another women stupid enough to fund him..). It deeply disturbs me that my kids have to spend every other week with him. Their behaviour regresses every time they are with him. Being a part time parent is really hard. This is the part I didnt want, but I needed my own sanity back. I have had to change my bank account and now think I have to chance my email too. I was forwarding my emails to my partner, but somehow I still need to deal with it. I feel like I need to block him as much as possible so he realises the only way to have contact is to be civil. He ignores my emails about the children’s education and health but tries to dictate to how things are going to run. It is a power game and I need to take the ability from him, to play with me, away. Any experiences here?

    #36675 Report

    S.Lee80
    Participant

    Hi Lifeiscomplex

    I am intrigued by what you said about how you treat your sons. I have noticed that my son has little respect for me and I am worried that he is coping his father. My ex has zero respect for me and speaks to me very rude and our son picks it up. My ex has no respect to his parent, his family or for anyone else for that matter. He always dismiss his parent and I have noticed that our son is always acting the same way with me. I don’t know what to do. I always speak to our son about feelings, emotions, being kind and life in general so I am trying to teach him about about how to behave and having manners etc. But I see how he is with me. It is only me and my son that live together so he doesn’t really see me with anyone and how to behave with people or how to talk in positive ways so it is hard for me to show him this. Already I notice signs of my son treating like I am invisible to him.

    My ex also uses blackmail to get to me. He always brings up about how I have him him bankrupt and ruined his life. I just ignore him. He needs to take responsibility for himself.

    Any advice about how to show my son about being respectful to me and other people would be very helpful. I am all on my own and I don’t know how to teach my son. I always speak to him about manners and how to be kind but when it is just me and I have no other person to show him this then it can be very difficult.

Viewing 9 posts - 16 through 24 (of 24 total)

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