My children have moved 300 miles away

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  • #31051 Report

    Desperate_dad
    Participant

    Few weeks ago me and my ex partner seperated and within 6 hours of finding out her and my children got on a train and moves 300 miles away to be with her family i feel completely lost.

    I have 1 million things going through my head should i move there and start a new life although i have nothing to be able to do that or should i stay here where my family are and try and build a long distance relationship up with the kids there aged 5 & 1

    My biggeat fear is they will forget who i am over time

    Is there anyone who has gone through similar events and has made the diatance work

    #31062 Report

    DillonHS
    Participant

    I think the hardest thing for you to do is to understand a little bit if u can that she needs help to raise the kids and that was her source of help. I fully understand its wrong! I would get legal advice as soon as u feel upto it. If you cant save the relationship. Then open up channels of communication on how to move forward looking after the kids. The 5 use old will ask for her dad.

    #31070 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Dd, that must be truly difficult. Do you live somewhere that your ex has friends?  Is she likely to move back after the upset of the situation has settled down a bit?

    Your ex hasn’t done anything wrong, if she needs her family’s support. Was she unable to rent on her own after you split? She has to help you see the children, doing half the travelling etc so try to keep things amicable to allow that to happen.

    I had to move for work after we split, and my ex sees our son every Sunday plus whole weeks in the school holidays. It has worked for eight years.

    #31071 Report

    Mike_71
    Participant

    Your ex hasn’t done anything wrong…

    That’s a matter of opinion. That she wants her family support is irrelevant and does not trump the father’s right to see his children!

    When men take children and move away it has often been called abduction; people scream blue murder. It is not appropriate or proper to deprive a child of one parent, and deprive the parent of contact with the child, unless there is some solid reason (like abuse).

    I do not believe in one rule for men and a different rule for women.

    Desperate_dad, your concerns about the children growing up and getting more emotionally distant from you, are very valid. See a solicitor and explore if there are any immediate steps that need to be taken to protect your interests (and those of the children).

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