My children are not coping with our separation advice needed

[Bubbles_88]

Hi all, I’m currently going through a separation. It’s been about 2 months now and it’s just started affecting the kids. Ages 8&7 more so my son who is 8 he has started setting himself every day at school and at home more than once.. Iv been to the doctors and they were awful. Iv looked at getting a professional but they are asking for so much money which I can not afford.

[Greenfingers]

Hi bubbles, what aspect is it he’s struggling with? Are you and dad amicable? His he getting access to both parents? Are you and the children in the family home etc? How does he cope with transfer between parents?

[Khaleesi Mother Of Dragons]

There are age appropriate books on Amazon too that you can get.  You could maybe sit down with your children and talk about how they are feeling about everything.  Sometimes the children blame themselves and it might be useful to help them to identify the new feelings and how it affects them.

[anon]

Hi

It is normal for a child to regress into earlier behaviours like bed wetting, sucking thumb, wanting a dummy etc when going through separation as children go through separation anxiety so talk to him with some age appropriate books videos etc say you and his dad both love him still but cant be together. Do the kids see their at all

[AJ]

Hi

i’m 4 months into a separation and have a 7 year old daughter. It’s really rocky. She’s a very stoic and quiet little soul and doesn’t say much about her feelings. I spoke to her school and they have a family support worker who has been doing a little bit of unofficial counselling with my daughter. It’s been a god send and so helpful. Try asking at school if they have a family support worker (or similar). The school have an important role in your children’s emotional and mental wellbeing and they should have something in place to support children who are struggling.

[Jay]

I split with my girls dad when they were 5 and 7 I was always honest and answered questions appropriate to their ages,they are now 16 and 14,two years ago I split with my second husband,he cheated,and left our son was 3 now 5,it affected my girls far more as two ‘dads’ had left them,my eldest struggled a lot,but I was always there,we spoke,we were each others rock,my son came out with a lot at school he told his teacher daddy hurt mummy I don’t want him to hurt me,and my daddy doesn’t love me I’m scared he’ll take me away,heartbreaking but I opened up to the teacher told them he’d seen his dad attack me,I had a meeting with family support worker,and they also sent a senco teacher to work with him,gave him chance to talk,I openly talk to him at home,tell him it’s OK not to have a dad,I love him enough for two,it’s hard but we have no idea how they process things so take it one step at a time,tell them you are always there to talk, ask if any things worrying them, wetting can just be a symptom of anxiety hopefully it will stop,good luck x

[Author]

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