Moving on with life

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  • #56680 Report

    Timbo78
    Participant

    Hi all,

    I have been a 43 year old single parent for two years after a 16 year relationship with my son’s mother ended painfully in Summer 2019. I am struggling to form relationships going forward with other women. I am not sure why. I had a relationship with someone in Autumn 2019 and I panicked and called it off. Every other relationship I’ve had has been very short lived with me being incapable of seeing how I can last more than a few months let alone years. I get lonely as I live alone and apart from my son usually is my only source of company. Any help is gratefully received.

    #56715 Report

    L
    Participant

    Hi

    Dont feel like everything has to stop for you. At the moment things are probably still very raw for you and you are still hurting alot inside after being with your son’s mother for so long.

    Can you have more time with your son, maybe overnight stops or in the holidays? I’m unsure how old your son is but maybe join a group or club of something your son likes to do for example football. It’s a great way of making friends👍

    Sounds like you are a great dad, so remind yourself of that 👍

    In this group we are here for one another.

    Take care of you.

    #56733 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    it will be 3 years this october for me. perhaps you are rushing into things. maybe you could think about taking a break from seeking a relationship and focus on healing and rebuilding your life. there are a lot of useful resources out there, like life/relationship coaches on youtube. check them out. feel free to message me.

    #56738 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Hi hope your ok

    Take time to yourself and with your son. If it isn’t right to start another relationship then that’s fine don’t force it and the future is full of brilliant things for you. 

    I am needing to end an 2 year horrible relationship he plays so many mind games and says horrible things. We argue I say stuff but he has had a really awful influence on me and he doesn’t treat me with any respect. He is older I think he wants to control me and I have been stupid for 2 years but I hope for a better future with my son

    So we all are here to talk and message me if you need also. Take it easy and be kind to yourself 

    #56740 Report

    Lonelyme
    Participant

    Hi Timbo

    I completely understand, I am in a similar position.

    I am incredibly lonely at the moment.  My daughter lives with me and we spend a lot of time together but isn’t the same.

    Friends have told me that I need take time to heal from my previous relationship but I really feel ready to meet someone new.  The only thing that holds me back is knowing all the rubbish that goes along with dating.  Would be lovely to be able to make a male friend and go out and laugh and enjoy myself again (yes, I do this with my friends but it doesn’t feel the same).  I miss love, companionship and excitement desperately!

    Hope you are doing ok?

     

    #56931 Report

    Yasmin77
    Participant

    I know exactly how you feel. Really wanting a relationship for love and affection…but too afraid of being hurt again. I’m lonely too…life is so tough. I try my best for my daughter and have tried to forgive and let go but it’s been  over three years. What kind of things are you doing to help yourself heal?

    #56949 Report

    Jaekae
    Participant

    Timbo- I totally get where you are coming from.

    I got to know someone and managed to both overreact, pulling away and then be ridiculously overkeen at the same time. The reality was I wasn’t ready to feel the emotions I was having at that time, it all got mixed up with a history I hadn’t come to terms with.

    I’ve since gone to counselling to basically exorcise the demons so to speak. I didn’t recognise myself or my behaviour and wasn’t prepared to accept that’s how things were or who I was. It’s already helped and I wish I had gone before. Without wanting to sound all fluffy I hadn’t realised how much I hadn’t processed or what I’d actually been through.

    It’s a suggestion that may work for you.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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