Moving On

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  • #39906 Report

    SmileySam
    Participant

    Hi, I’m just wondering whether anyone can shed some light – My ex and I parted ways after 18 years of marriage. Kids have always lived with me, the door has always been open for him to keep in touch with the kids, but he’s chosen not to. My kids are all growing up and I’m finding it super difficult to meet anyone. Yes, I know the current situation has put life on hold for us all. But I’m talking about me being single since 2011!! Kids are, and always will be my number one priority, but they’re growing up fast, and this has made me think more and more that I’ve really put myself on hold. My kids are really accepting of the fact that I should be dating, but it’s just that the mindset doesn’t know where to start!! Parting ways was the best thing I could have done for both myself and the kids, so no regrets whatsoever, in case anyone thinks I’m not over the marriage. Life has been so much more positive for me since being my own person again. Please share your thoughts and experiences!!

    #39909 Report

    Bunnyhop
    Participant

    Its always a bit nerve wracking getting back into the dating game after a time out from it! But although its easy to say “Dont be nervous” – you really shouldn’t be. Just try to relax and enjoy yourself and have some fun. See where it takes you!

    I know that some dating sites such as match.com do group activites such as dance nights, cooking nights etc in some areas. This could be a great way to ease back into meetig and talking to potential dates without the pressure of it being a one on one situation. So might be worth looking into once lockdown is over. Or even actually joining some activities in your local or surrounding area might be a great way to meet new people and potentially a man. I would be wary about dating sites though and choose carefully as some do not have the same safe guards in place to protect their users, some are just for hook ups (although thats totally fine if thats all you’re looking for atm) and you should always meet in a public place with a friend or family member aware of who you’re meeting, when and where before you do meet with anyone new in person.

    Going out for a few drinks with your friends is always an opportunity to meet potential suitors in a relaxed fun way. Or even asking some of your friends if they have any single friends they could set you up with. At the end of the day it boils down to what you feel most comfortable doing and how it would work best for you and what you are looking for.  I always think its kind of like going to a swimming pool. Some people just dip their toe in first, some people ease in to it and some people just cannon ball into the water! Just go with what feels comfortable to you and dont put too much pressure on yourself or allow other people to pressurise you. Good luck and stay safe

    #39910 Report

    Waunderful
    Participant

    You never know when someone wonderful will come along, but putting yourself in situations where you can meet new people or socialize is always advisable x

    #39915 Report

    SmileySam
    Participant

    Thanks for your replies, I think I’ve become too self sufficient, coming from a break up where I didn’t really have a voice. I’ve tried dating sites and they just don’t interest me anymore, like you mention most do seem to be for hook ups – and yes that’s fine if it works for some, but doesn’t do anything for me :/

    I may well have scared  few off with my socialising skills haha. I seek no validation from anyone and I think that scares some men!! I generally love going out (well nowhere at present). I’m always trying to find something new to do.

    My theory is I’m not going to go looking for anyone and the Mr Right will come along one day, but think I may have pushed a tad too hard on that thought. It’s made me so busy that now my mindset has become wary that if I were to meet anyone, I wouldn’t have any time for them!!

     

    #39916 Report

    Bunnyhop
    Participant

    I think unless your attitude and behaviour was like hurtful or harmful to people then no you dont need to adjust any of it just to please others – you be you and if they cant handle it then they ain’t right for you anyway. Be your fabulous self and someone will come along, plenty of men find an independant woman very sexy! And if you do meet someone who really captures your interest you’ll find yourself wanting to spend time with them and therefore finding ways to fit them into your life so I wouldnt worry about whether you have the time for a man or not. You meet so many people everyday just doing day to day activities (when there isnt a lockdown obviously) and you never know who you might bump in to -they could end up being the love of your life!

    #39924 Report

    SmileySam
    Participant

    Thank you 🙂

    #40161 Report

    moni
    Participant

    Hi smiley sam, you made me chuckle 😄, as i feel exactly same..be just yourself,  and do what makes you happy, and the right man will come along …then sometimes i think i wouldn’t have much time leftover for a new relationship and i probably would need yo give up something i really enjoy doing….

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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