Moving away and leaving the kids behind

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  • #48871 Report


    Hello everyone

    Hoping someone can help me with advice on possibly the toughest decision I’ll ever have to make!

    I moved to a Isle of Man 3 years ago with my wife and two children, I didn’t really want to move but my wife did so I agreed. Unfortunately we separated 6 months ago and this wasn’t my choice. I’ve tried hard to save my marriage and this just isn’t going to happen, which is very sad.

    I’ve made a bit of a life for myself here, I have a good job and a few friends and obviously my children are here who I get to see a lot, almost 50% of the time.

    I still love my wife and the pain of separation hurts a lot, as does the loneliness of when the children aren’t here.

    Despite all of the above I feel like I want to return home and start life again in the UK, I don’t really know why but I do.

    This will mean leaving the children behind with their Mum and I’ll have to visit whenever I can. The thought if this makes me very sad as I was in a similar albeit not quite as bad position when I was young, with my Dad.

    I really don’t know what to do for the best. Life here is ok but it can be a very lonely place when you’re on your own.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    #48885 Report



    I know it must be difficult for you to be there as it was not your decision from the start. As a parent, I would advise you not to submit to the temptation to go back home and leave them behind until they are old enough to visit you. The time you will spend with them now will set the foundation to your relationship in the future. They need your presence, even your disciplines will be precious memories for them. Think of the lonely moments  as free time.

    I wish you all the best.

    #48895 Report



    if you have a strong bond with your kids, when moving away will only weaken the bond and make you feel more lonely. I would suggest you stay where you are. spending lots of time with your kids will be great source of comfort for you, and your mental health.

    #48897 Report


    I would stay in isle of man for now as they have no lockdown and lifted all restrictions. Also you get to see your children still

    #48898 Report



    Good to keep in mind that if you move away you won’t be a daily part of your kids lives and after some time you will go on a back burner to them- just bc life takes over.Don’t be sorry when they get older and don’t make You a priority….puppies are not just for Christmas.

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