Moving area with 2 children after divorce please help me

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by J45.
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  • #15183 Report

    suzukirider
    Participant

    Hi, ive just put my house up for sale due to divorce, my daughter aged 11 is starting secondary school next week and my son is 12 and going into year 8. I have nothing keeping me in my local area so I am looking to start a fresh about 40 miles away, the kids will still see their dad when they usually would. My son is keen on the move and new start, however my daughter is completely against it, she is saying she will miss her dad, and miss her friends. How can I get her to come round to the idea? It is really getting me down knowing she is so against the idea. I keep saying her friends will still be her friends and she will make new friends but she wont listen.

    Anybody able to help? thank you

    #15193 Report

    Wanderer.
    Participant

    hiya. 

    I’ve been through the divorce part but not selling up as I’ve not been a home owner. How about you suggest your Daughter lives with her Dad & your Son lives with you. She will have her friends etc.

     

    #15196 Report

    Terry5363
    Participant

    Hi,

    It can be hard for children to deal with changes especially at the ages they are.  I would talk as much as you can and maybe agree a compromise where she can have her friends stay over now and then? At the end of the day you are the parent and have to make the final decision. Easier said than done but we all go there. I know as a single parent we want the best for our children but you have to do whats best for you too as you are part of the family. I hope things work out without too much stress.  Post me if you want to talk and let me know how it goes.

    #15249 Report

    J45
    Participant

    I know your daughters older and going into secondary but I just want to share my story with you:

    I had to move my 8 year old sons school February this year. I moved area in December and was finding the drive to his school too much every morning! A 20 minute journey was taking over an hour. He fought me on it all the time so I would feel sad for him but one day I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told him we were just going to view the school near our house. He agreed in the end but still said he wasn’t going there.

    He was very quiet and did tell the receptionist he didn’t want to move and wasn’t going to make new friends. She was so good with him and made him feel a bit better! But still didn’t want to go.

    I just went ahead with the transfer. The day he left he sobbed in the car and wouldn’t get out so I arranged for his best friend to come and stay the weekend which helped. I felt really awful and couldn’t stop crying myself.

    He reluctantly went to his new school after the half term and came home with a big smile on his face. After less than a month there I asked if he wanted to go back to his old school and he said no way!

    I told him we’d keep in touch with his old friends but now he’s made new friends he’s not bothered with them anymore.

    I know if I had to move him again he’d throw the same fight but now I wouldn’t delay as I know he wouldn’t be so scared.

    I made it exciting when we bought the new school uniform telling him how smart he looked and how much nicer the new one was.

     

     

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