Mortgage separation

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  • This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by Anonymous.
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  • #62820 Report


    Hi all,


    The mother of my kids and I mutually split up 4 years ago and have two children.


    I have paid all CSA equivalent and additional for clubs, clothes amongst other things for the whole time and will continue to do so.


    we have a joint mortgage however and she is not willing to sell the house. I continue to pay the mortgage too so struggling to make ends meet whilst paying rent too.


    where do I legally stand in terms of forcing the house sell? Am I obliged to provide the roof over their head or not? We were never married. She tells me that she has sought legal advice which states that I am legally obliged to continue to pay until she is ready to buy me out. Is this the case? I’m not making her homeless, just wish for my share of the money and for her to live within her own means.


    Any advice is welcome.



    #62829 Report


    I’m 15 months into separation and on the other end of it (I’m still in the property). As far as I’m aware, you are not legally bound to pay the mortgage (you only have to pay child maintenance), but if you have a joint mortgage and she doesn’t keep up with payments, you will also be liable. To force a sale you would have to take it to court, but she may try and seek a mesher order. My advice….speak to a solicitor.

    Hope this helps x

    #62836 Report


    Hi, thanks for the response.

    I haven’t minded paying the mortgage, however can’t accept that I can be held against my will in a mortgage and told that a court would tell me that I need to stay in it until she is in a position to buy me out, which she may never be. My understanding is a Mesher Order can only be obtained for married couples but may be wrong.

    I will seek some legal advice for clarity, thanks.

    #62963 Report


    Hi I’ve separated from my wife about 10 mo ths ago. Going through divorce with joint mortgage. I was advised by solicitors that I’m entitled to half the equity from the house. However she has now become very difficult in terms of finances and I’ve just received an offer which is very low. I’ve continued to pay half the mortgage. Child maintenance and half the nursery / childminder fees. But I’m in rented accommodation currently and due to vacate in April. Things are beyond stretched and just feel like I’m increasing in debt.

    #62965 Report


    My wife and I are in a similar position at the moment. I have been paying half the mortgage since we separated 18 months ago, but are now going through mediation to try and resolve the matter.

    I think you should try and keep up the mortgage payments if you can but would get done legal advice on the situation. If you have some custody of your children you have a need for decent housing. I would highly recommend mediation if you can.


    #62966 Report


    Hello single dad_1

    Can your ex afford to pay the mortgage each month? The reason I ask is, if she can the agreement my ex and I have may suit your situation.

    My now ex husband left three years ago but struggled to pay his half of the mortgage. The mortgage is in joint names. We have come to an agreement that I pay his half of the mortgage until the house is sold. When it’s sold, he will have to pay back all the mortgage payments I made on his behalf. This has been passed by a Solicitor.


    #62970 Report


    I really would suggest seeking your own legal advice around the situation to see what is required of you and what isn’t as I agree the current arrangement isn’t sustainable for you.  Once you know that I guess you can pay out the options with her.
    I have moved out and still paying my share of the mortgage/bills etc as I am able to live at my mums temporarily for minimal cost. Even if either myself or my husband was willing to leave our share of equity in our home for the time being, neither of us would be approved to take on the mortgage alone on our salaries to enable the other to rent something suitable (rent is so high where we live) as we are sharing custody 50/50 so we have agreed that we have no choice but to sell when our mortgage fixed term comes to an end next year.

    #62972 Report


    Thanks for your advice and views everyone. I am seeking my own legal advice next week but having spoken to a fair few people in the know, it doesn’t appear that I have a legal obligation to keep her in that house, and I’ve been more than reasonable in helping the ways I have and if she cannot afford the mortgage herself, then we will have to sell. I of course have a legal obligation to provide a house for the kids, which will always be the case, but not specifically that house.

    Ultimately my situation like others above is not sustainable so will get clarification on my legal stance.

    #62976 Report


    Yes, would agree with you OP.

    I’ve just completed a very long and drawn out legal process on a house where I was due half the equity. I represented myself and researched it and won my case.

    What I would say is when people split up everyone needs to make adjustments and this is a reality. Since you were not married obviously this makes a difference.

    I would also contact the Citizens Advice on this one.

    Generally the more you research yourself, the less it is going to cost you in legal fees. Even if you end up not doing the legal stuff yourself you need to be confident you know what they are doing. Unfortunately, some solicitors will charge you 300 quid an hour for breathing!

    So, be savvy. Contact several solicitors not just one to gether info for your free half and hour advice. Say you’ll get back to them


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