16 August 2018 at 6:51 pm #14656
Hi have just been to court and have custody of our children.
I received a solicitors letter from my partner who now want me to see the house as we are both on the mortgage.Taking into account that my son has his exams next year which his his future yet she still want to sell the house plus i cant afford to buy another house in the area and dont want to move my son to another school.
I’ve always paid all the bill in the house and still do without any support from my Ex.I have offered her a lump sum of money (which is not half as i cant afford it ) which she has declined.
My solicitor has stated that if she doesn’t take the money then we will preserve the house until the kids are 18.Where does that leave me surly Im not expected to pay the mortgage for the next 10 years then for her to have half of the value of the house ???? . If that the case then everyone will be doing it.
Could do with your help as its worrying the hell out of me. All I want is to help my children and guide them.16 August 2018 at 7:03 pm #14658
I don’t think you have anything to worry about in that you may remain the house until your youngest is leaving full time education/18 approx. You should be entitled to maintenance from mum if you are primary carer and that could help with the cost of the home/kids. You’ll also be eligible for other sources of income such as child benefit and tax credits etc. Have you considered remortgaging in order to buy your ex out? Even if that means extending the term? That way it’s a clean break and you can both move on. She’ll likely be pushing for a sale to allow her to obtain another mortgage as if she’s tied in with the mortgage on your property she’ll only ever be able to rent. However, at such a critical time in your children’s life I can not imagine any court being behind her in enforcing a sale, plus it will cost 10s of £1000s for her to go to property court. There are many separated couples having to coHabitate due to a reluctance of either party to move out but in my experience it completely kills the likely chance of any amicable outcome.16 August 2018 at 7:12 pm #14659
I receive Child benefits but earn to much to get tax credits She pays me pennies in maintenance money ,If i Remortgage the house this still leaves me way short to pay her half the value of the house and and a massive repayment each month.
Thanks for your help16 August 2018 at 7:20 pm #14661
Just sit tight then, I doubt very much that 1) she’ll take you to property court or 2) that she’ll be successful in the event she does. It costs an absolute fortune. You have to do what’s right for the kids and that generally involves stability. What I suppose you could do is make a ‘free 30 min appt’ with a local solicitor and ask questions around this subject, such as how much equity would she be entitled to if you do continue to make the payments for the next 10 years, if that’s an option. Without pressure it might be worth considering selling at a time that suits you and the kids, be it 2-3-4 years to allow your credit files to be disconnected. If she runs up debt currently this will have an affect on your credit file until you apply for financial disassociation. You can’t do this whilst you have joint finances (bank acc/mortgage)16 August 2018 at 7:43 pm #14670
Managed to resolve the joint accounts etc but didn’t realise that if her name is on the mortgage and she runs up debts it could affect me.
She also keeps telling the children that they will live with her once she gets her own place which has confused my youngest and now Im paying for private counselling which is costing me a fortune.She knows this but wont give me a penny to help out our son.She moved out and left me to deal with getting the kids stability and has never thank me for what Im doing with kids as well as holding down a full time job.16 August 2018 at 8:04 pm #14677
You have just made me pee myself with laughter your comments about her and a mortgage you have made my night.
thanks for your support much appreciated.17 August 2018 at 1:08 pm #14705
I pay the mortgage, yet it is in joint names. My ex will get his share of the equity as and when the house is sold. I spoke with Gingerbread who advised that his only obligation is to pay maintenance. My solicitor also advised that the equity would be shared at the sell point, unless we draw up a ‘separation agreement’ – which, depending on how agreeable both parties are, could cost a few £100. Much cheaper than court to settle any disputes! The seperatation agreement would state who will get what % when the property is sold. Unfortuntely it’s a hard pill to swallow, but if you want to stay in the house then you are going to potentially have to pay the mortgage in full, and take the hit when the time comes. That’s my situation at the moment, and although it makes me cross, I am also grateful to be in the family home for our child’s sake. Rightly or wrongly I see it as a trade off17 August 2018 at 9:20 pm #14733
Thanks for the information just want everything to be resolved.Dont want her having access to the house for the next 10 years coming and going when she feel like it.Not sure if I can stop her from coming in if her name still on the mortgage.17 August 2018 at 9:38 pm #14736
Sorry if I sounded all doom and gloom. Sometimes we don’t always hear what we want to hear (myself included!) My solicitor said to me that I have every right not to allow my ex into the home as it’s mine and my daughters haven/safe place (not that my ex was violent or anything, but it’s is our home and we should all feel safe where we live) however she did say that if I allow him to visit in the home then it sets a precedent, and a court may view it in a child’s best interest to continue with the routine they know. The thing to remember is that it might be their house, but it isn’t their home. They chose to leave and therefore removed their rights to come and go as they please. I allow my ex to come a few times a week to do our child’s bedtime, but that’s something I’ve agreed to based on my own wants for my child. I’d have no issue revoking that if it ever became difficult!