Mental Health Has Broken My Marriage

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  NorfolkNeil 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #18510 Report

    mummytotchp
    Participant

     

    <span style=”color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;”>Hello everyone, I am new here and didn’t even know this forum existed. Long story short my husband has mental health issues to the point where he has (in his words) no feelings for anything. Tonight he moved out taking everything from the wardrobe, moved into his rents and not one sign he is upset at all, he has just text to say he forgot his pills and testosterone, and has gone on his works night out. He is very cold with me, and does the basics for his son although he says he does what my sons needs. Does anyone have experience of mental health breaking a marriage, it would be nice to se from the other view. He has weekly counselling, on anti-depressants and we have had couples therapy but he didn’t change what was suggested to him. Its so hard being married to him.</span>

     

    #18511 Report

    Lilfran
    Participant

    So sorry things have been so hard for you. I don’t have experience to offer you advise I’m afraid but a virtual hug is on offer.

    X

    #18512 Report

    mummytotchp
    Participant

    Thank you ! It is heart breaking especially as we have a little boy we took 3 years to have! I fear he will get better then realise what he has lost and it’s too late ! 😢

    #18519 Report

    Peeriepop
    Participant

    Hi

    you need to think of yourself and your son firstly. He may get better and realise what he has lost, but that’s not good for you to think in short term. You never know what the future holds.

    Concentrate on your immediate life and make that what you want!

    I know how it feels to have been in a relationship where there is lack of emotion x

    #18526 Report

    Chez86
    Participant

    Mental health has broken my marriage. My ex-husband has severe depression, I begged and did all I can for years to help him. He stayed locked away in his office playing computer games in pitch black and would tell me and the children to leave him alone. 8 years passed and he never bothered with us, i raised these children alone. they frequently cry asking why their daddy isn’t like the other daddies. I put up with domestic abuse for that time as I was terrified to leave him incase it got worse. Living in fear of him for so many years resulted in me having anxiety attacks, my children are very upset (though they’re incredible) and feel afraid of him shouting and banging his fists.

    The final straw for me was in September when I could no longer pretend to say I love him or pretend that all was ok, he screamed at my son and told him “you’re ******* disgusting” whilst banging his fists on the table. My son was scared, I was scared and my daughter was scared. The next day, I got in the car and drove to my parents 3 hours away and the best thing I did was to end this marriage.

    Mental health did this! He did this!

    #18535 Report

    mummytotchp
    Participant

    well he has moved out for good, I said I cannot do this any longer and he spent all weekend trying to decide if he loved me or not- I decided for him!

     

    thank you for your comments, I just now need to sort my finances etc out.

    #18548 Report

    Morgan1542
    Participant

    Hi

    I am going through a similar thing right now with my ex, however it is me that suffers with mental health issues, and from that side of things I can understand his feelings and how he may feel a little, but this is all about you and what you feel, if you love him want to keep a family and fear he may realise in time then you need to act now, only agreeing with needs and what he wants wont work, if time goes by and its too late then its too late if he wants a family and everything you want he will seek help with your support that you want to give, its too late for me I wished I could have let people in sooner id hate anyone to feel regret for not acting like I am right now its heart breaking if I might be able to shed light on mental health from a different perspective by all means let me know hope this may help

    #18559 Report

    mummytotchp
    Participant

    I still have a joint calendar and see that the day after we decide to split he is booking yoga then the next morning he has cancelled my credit card and told me to get one myself (which doesn’t happen very quick) then tells me to get benefits (also takes ages and I’m self employed so not that simple) and I went to get money out of the machine and it swallowed the card! He has also demanded I give him our estate and I use our two door convertible for our pushchair and two year old and food shop etc!! He is hurting me and I know he can’t see it as he has no feelings. Total heartbreak !

    #18560 Report

    NorfolkNeil
    Participant

    The last few years of my marriage I was suffering with mental health issues. The best thing for me was my wife leaving me. Yes it is hard but it brought my life to a crisis point which I had to address and seek help with.

    I was left with both of our daughters to raise and look after as I had been a house husband for the last 5 years and the primary carer for them.

    So I have had to address my problems, I know it will be a hard journey but as others have said I need to do this for myself become stronger and a better father. Who knows what the future holds as it hasn’t been written yet and at the moment I can see improvement every week since I have started to sort my issues.

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