This is really hard for me to type as reading it drives home how serious i feel about ending my marriage.
I have been married to my husband for 4 years, dated for one and we have a 3 yr old son who we both love so much. I have noticed how our marriage declined since the birth of our son. I had little family support, my husband worked shifts and so i had to persevere through my post partum depression and raise our son. Last Sept, whilst on our first big holiday, i found out he had been facebook messaging his ex when i was looking back at photos of the beach we had taken on the day, on his phone. I saw he had been messaging his ex since Jan last year and the messages had become really flirtatious as well as him making fun of my weight gain and social anxiety to her. He had even written his ex’s husband and i should get together. I was heartbroken. I knew we were both under pressure fron having our first child but thought he respected and loved me as much as i did for him. When we came back fron holiday, we tried counselling for a day which was no use and after heated words with him throughout last year and early this year, i eventually buried my sadness for the sake of our son. The problem is that since i found out, i hold this inner deep hatred for him. I resent him and really put him down even when he is trying to make up to me. I just cant get over the betrayal yet i stay for our son and the fact his family is the only family i have. I dont want my son growing up thinking that belittling your other half and shouting at them is love. I feel so ashamed and guilty when i behave this way yet i cannot bear to love him again. Its as if my love has disappeared and won’t come back even when we try date nights. I could really use some advise or words right now. I feel trapped. Yet i don’t want my son to have two parents separated over something i guess i could foresake for him which is my marriage happiness.
Hey I read your post and know what you are going through….we have a 2 year old and i had severe pnd as I was n my onw as husband worked away and I was left on my own to bring up our son. I left my home to move down south and i started to resent my husband to the point where I dont want him near me. He talks to me like dirt and takes me for granted. He has no respect for me and lives a bachelor life during the week when he is away for work and at the weekend leaves me to look after our wee one…. dont know what to say other than I understand…..big hugs to you xxx