Male going through separation in so much pain

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  • #26758 Report


    newcomer to the forum – I have been a visitor secretly though lol

    Even my creeping around this forum searching for help / comfort / answers pretty much sums up where I find myself.

    I am a 42 year old male who has 3 children (12 yrs Girl : 9 yrs boy : girl nearly 3 yrs old

    my wife left me just after Christmas this year and took the children with her.

    In all honesty the relationship was not perfect between us both but in my opinion as all relationships that are long term ones you have to go through difficult periods and the the strength to come through those periods requires true love and more over when children are involved walking away just is un fathomable.


    we were together for 13 years (unlucky for some hey lol)


    im so so heartbroken and just need some removed help / advice: reassurance that things will get better or what the stages of healing are.


    i can not look at her for what she has done and the way she has behaved easing up to it during and since


    sorry but but I guess I’m desperate for help


    #26760 Report

    Harry Potter

    Hi there

    I sympathise with where you’re at and we (men) have few outlets for our thoughts and feelings and often get a bit left behind in the healing and mending process whilst we tend to see the ex moving ahead quite rapidly with their new lives. A lot of that is  perception and not the reality and I’ve been able to rebuild my life in the last 9 months, juggling around 3 children and work.

    After 10 years together I was out of the social loops and on-line dating was key to my recovery, initially as a means to chat to other single ladies in similar situations and you’d be surprised how many there are, all with similar life stories so don’t feel alone in your feelings currently. I met several people, one who having met only once is a great friend now, and I’ve also been lucky enough to be dating someone for 7 months now. At the back end of last summer I didn’t think I’d be in the positive place i am now so things can work out for the better

    Feel free to message me if I can offer any more support


    #26779 Report


    Hi Custardcream

    I know it does not seem like it at the moment but things really will get better it just takes time and having people to chat to.

    I am a single mum to 3 children aged 12,11 &9 now but there dad walked out after 11 years when they were 2&1/2,4&5 and I still hate him now for things he has done but my life is so much better now without him.

    The best advice I can give you (from someone who has been where you are now) is to keep busy and to talk to family and friends and anytime you are thinking about her and what she has done keep yourself busy.

    Feel free to message me I am always here for a chat if you want to.


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