Maintenance problems

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  • #29486 Report


    Hi there,

    I wondered if I could pick your brains a little bit.

    My ex left in February 2018, and refused to pay any sort of maintenence for the kids.  I contacted CMS, they gave him a chance to pay, which he didn’t do, so now the payment is taken directly from his wages.  We have been receiving monthly payments since November last year.

    However, just a moment ago, I received an email from CMS telling me that they hadn’t received a payment this month and not to worry they would do everything they can.  How can this be if it is taken directly from his wages?  I can’t call them now as its saturday night and they won’t be in now until next week but I am really worried, we rent a house, and we need that money to function.

    Is there any reason his work would not have paid?  Does that mean he has lost his job do you think?

    Things between us are awful, we don’t speak – he had an affair for 5 years and gambled all our money yet I am the bad guy – I have no time for the games so I go along with it.  He has supervised contact with our children, supervised by his girlfriend (which is laughable I know) this is because he has been violent to us all in the past – which he denies of course, and we are due back in court in December for a final hearing.

    I hate the fact that the court don’t see the finances as relevant in a child arrangements case, it is extremely relevant when a father stops paying the mortgag for 7 months (without telling anyone) and almost got us evicted.  How is that a good father?  And now this, if we don’t get the maintenence we can’t survive financially, we have just taken on a rented house (as we had to leave the family home), and I just don’t know what to do – how can a payment not be made if it comes directly from his wages?

    could this be a mistake or does he not have a job anymore?

    I’m so angry, worried and confused, any advice would be so gratefully received.

    Thank you all, and sorry for my ranting!

    #29496 Report


    Your ex may have lost his job, he may have resigned and moved to another job. Hopefully payments will resume in a few weeks.

    If he is very resentful of paying maintenance, he may have decided to live off benefits to spite you. He may have moved to work somewhere cash in hand although that’s Illegal.

    Or he could have set up a company of his own, and will pay himself in dividends in which case it could take a year or more to sort out.

    Can you talk to his mum to find out what is happening? Can you increase your hours to cover the rent yourself?

    #29500 Report


    In my experience the child maintenance service is easy to manipulate.

    My ex owes over £11,000 built up over the last 4/5 years. He decided he didnt want to pay so moved to temp work so he could job hop. Basically, they track them down via HMRC but the process of setting up the deduction of earnings takes a few months and they write to the paying parent about a month – 6 weeks before to tell them that they are setting it up. In that time he would simply take another job, he had the timing down to a T!

    Your ex may have moved jobs, he may have gone self employed, some men even stop work all together to avoid paying.

    It’s a very frustrating system! Keep a record and keep in touch with cms to make sure they are taking all possible next steps. They do have powers to take things further for parents that persistently don’t pay. It took 4 years for me but they eventually took a liability order out on my ex and I now get some payments through but some how he has managed to get it dropped from £79.00 per week to £29.00.

    I try and see it as extra cash, so I am happy if it comes in but definitely don’t rely on it!

    #29506 Report


    Thanks so much everyone, I will take it all on board xx

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