lost/helpless/distant/mental health of my eldest son

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  • #6153 Report


    I have thought long and hard about posting what I am about to post.  But I cannot and do not know how to proceed in any kind of orderly fashion.

    I am going to keep this brief as it is pure information I am after.

    My eldest son is 9.

    He was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  I have the later.  which is neither here nor there( as an adult I can deal with it as I have the gift of reasoning, yet a child may not)

    I am trying so hard to simplify this…

    I live in Scotland but my boys x2 live in England with their mum and step dad

    I left their mum because she was very chaotic, I need order in my life, a place for everything and everything in its place….

    When I left their mum, I accepted that I  could not overly interfere with their lives and how she opted to manage them.

    I adapted to the role of “hipster dad”  tried to be the cool dude because I was constrained in time and money in terms of visits and time.

    It is so hard to paint this picture…

    Their mum and I get on reasonably well to be honest.

    Their mum remarried and had a child with their step dad, making  it three kids, two of which I am dad and a daughter of which belongs to their step dad. all about equal years apart.

    I am digressing.

    The point is this.  In my naivety I gave up control of my kids to my ex.  Now my eldest has been diagnosed with asd adhd, ( i have ADHD but was not diagnosed until 38yrs old)  and she thought he had selective mutism.

    she has told the mental health people I have v ery little to do with my son despite almost daily phone calls plus school holidays spent with me!

    The point is I do not know to first contact his school which would be pointless as he is now off the register as homeschooled, which I do not mind, gave my full support.

    I also do not know how to contact hi school / educational phycologist.


    I think if I could make contat with ed phy then I could help assist in his treatment and add value to that…   but i do not know how..


    please help me






    #6171 Report



    Can you speak to their mum and asked to be involved?failing that I would ring the edge and speak to them,ask if they’ve asked him as his dad you want to be notified,even if you’ve given her full control if you are on his birth certificate you have pr so can ask,I had occupational therapist and physiotherapists involved  with my child could they be involved with your son,you could try the hospital speak to that department,any things worth a try worst they can say is no they’ve not seen him,hope it goes your way x

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