Looking to date but not sure how!

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  • #45735 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    Hello everyone. Firstly, I hope you his is allowed in this forum! Basically, a short version of my story is that a few months ago, my wife of three years (together for 6) decided to leave me and took our children with her. She doesn’t let me have the children very often and I’m taking it to court to get more access. For the last 6 weeks or so, she has got a new place to live (after she left me she moved back to her mum’s for a while) and has moved into her new place with a new guy. The children are still living at her mum’s because she “is still getting the house ready” but that seems to be an excuse for her to spend as much time alone with th new man as possible, but let’s not worry about that! So the access to my children is hopefully getting sorted and will be decided for good during the court case in late January.

    But, I’m just getting really fed up and bored of feeling lonely. I did meet a girl online about a month ago and we had a couple of amazing dates, I fell for her straight away, but unfortunately she didn’t want anything serious and it came to a stop, which did upset me as I really liked her. I’ve been trying to use dating sites, but I NEVER get any replies (I’m not exactly Brad Pitt!!) And it’s starting to feel like I’m going to be alone for a very long time atleast. I’m quite shy, never have much money and work full time, so I don’t r ally get to go out much, not to mention the covid situation, so I’m not too sure where or how to ever meet anyone!! I live in Norwich, Norfolk if that makes any difference!! I hope this kind of thing is allowed to be posted/asked on here!

    #45737 Report

    Liolint
    Participant

    Perhaps you should try more online dating and maybe try to approach women in real life even though you’re shy. You never know where you’ll meet someone awesome!

    #45744 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    I’m still on plenty of the dating sites, sent loads of different people messages (all messages aimed at their profile, not just a generic message!) And literally not a single reply! It’s just frustrating as I’m sitting alone every night wondering what I’ve done so wrong in life to have my wife and children suddenly leave, she finds happiness straight away even though she treats me like rubbish, and yet here I am can’t even find a girl to even write a message to me! I’m so shy with new people that I’d never dare go up to a stranger and start speaking to them haha

    #45749 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    Sound to me like you need time alone and try not to compete with your ex?

    “shes finds happiness straightaway… and yet I can’t find a girl”

    I’d try and focus on your up and coming court case and the children. Woman find a good dad attractive

    #45792 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s a case of competing with my ex at all, but more that (and this may sound silly!) In my mind, all I’ve ever wanted is a loving family, children and just a happy home lifestyle. I met my ex around seven years ago. I was still living with my parents at the time, and just over two years later we were living in our own place, with our first child and planning our wedding. It may seem that it was all rushed, but we were deeply in love and she seemed perfect to me. A year after the wedding we had our second child. Literally everything I’d dreamed of had come true and my life was complete. So now, two years after our second was born, to have that life taken away from me, living alone, only seeing my children one day a week at the minute if I’m lucky and seeing my (technically she still is) wife living this “perfect” life with her new guy, they even rang me last week mocking me, telling me how great he is and telling me I’ll never meet anyone again etc, does hurt. But if she came crawling back to me, there’s no way I’d take her back, so I’m over her, but not over the fact that I’m alone, lonely and just hating it! As I’ve said, I have tried the whole online dating thing, but out of the (at a rough guess) 100-125 people I’ve sent messages etc too on various sites, they all take one look at my profile and never get back to me! My profiles are happy, cheerful and had lots of details about me (interests, job, likes/dislikes etc) so if people are going to totally ignore me now, why will that ever change? I feel that I have a lot to give to a woman (not in an arrogant way), I’m friendly, bubbly, funny, honest etc, but I’ve seen so many people who are like this and they never seem to meet anyone, and I’m just worried that I’ll be one of these people and am just destined for constant disappointment and heartache throughout life!

    I’m obviously putting my children and the access to them at the forefront of everything I do, and am determined to win my case at court and get 50/50 custody or as near to that as I can get. But it’d be nice for the other part of my life to also work and be happy and for me to find a special person to be with, is that really too much to ask for?!

     

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