I would appreciate it if anyone can point me in the direction of papers or guidelines from respectable, recognised UK child welfare specialists such as CafCass, supporting the idea that : “it is in the children’s best interests to view the parent as equals where they both engage in the children’s lives equally”
At present my ex and I have the children half the week each and split holidays equally. We have a Child Arrangements Order stating that we are equals.
However she is currently trying to create a new inequality where (to use her words) her home is the ‘Principle home‘ and she is the ‘Primary carer‘, and for the children to explicitly understand that.
It has already started to happen and indeed my daughter said the other day “mummy said this is not our ‘actual’ home” to which is said “well what do yo think about that darling ?” and she replied “I think both are our ‘actual’ homes” she is only 5 and is obviously in receipt of a new narrative, although what she said is very reassuring.
We also have a son (6), and am really upset that she would want her son to grow up thinking that his father is in some way a ‘lesser’ parent than she is, this would be very confusing, and can really impact on our relationship. But she has stated on paper that this is her agenda.
What I am looking for is research papers or guidelines for CafCass / courts on this matter. I think it is detrimental to the children’s well being that they should be forced to shift their current perspective of equal parents, to one where; one is more important / dominant, and where essentially one home is lesser and not their ‘actual’ home, just some where they stay half the time.
Our CAO clearly states that we have an ‘equal role’ on the children’s lives and that they do ‘live’ with both of us.
My understanding is that Residence Parent (rp) and Primary Care Giver (pcg) are not terms used these days since the amendment of the Children Act 1989 in 2014 when Residence and Contact orders where changed to Child Arrangements Orders ?
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