Looking for advise or experience re: court orders

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • #17089 Report

    MHAM18
    Participant

    Hi,

    my partner has a cour order in place from roughly 3 years a go granting him contact with his son from 11-6 on a Saturday with the attentions of progressing to more time arranged between the two parents privately. After the first initial 6 -8 months my partner asked for to increase the time with the hope to proceed to sleep overs. This has been declined and re asked every 12-16 weeks if not longer. The reason given is that the child is not ready he is scared to stay over and his not happy with even trying it. The child is 7 and this is still the reason to date. Take out all the concerns we have just on this alone where do we stand. We have asked for mediation which has been ingnored so in the process of the next steps to go to court. When have had our own child in the mean time so we are just trying to maintain a bond for them as well as our selves.  There has never been a missed contact from us. We have been allowed the extra hour or odd hours on special occasions like family birthdays but that’s it. In my eyes the mother isn’t doing enough to make arrangements with us. Every time a family memeber ask for time it’s declined ie nan and aunty for things like days out with cousins or trips to the pantomime etc. What shall we expect from going to court. Where do we stand and has any one been in This circumstance. Originally there were allegations made from the mother about violence but they were proven by the court to be lies amongest other lies. There has never been an insistent to date to course any concerns

    thank you

    #17098 Report

    MHAM18
    Participant

    Can any one advise. We are in an awful situation. I myself co parent my elder two children. So I have been the single mother. But my children have their dad in their life as much as me so iv never been in this situation and it’s painfully hard

    #17365 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Presumably court didn’t initially order o/n contact as child was 4 at the time. If that’s the case, now he’s older and there’s a stable family situation with dad contact should progress. Your mention of violence and child being scared are obviously important issues. Is the child actually scared, or is this mum’s opinion/pressure? What was the violence, how was it disproved? Obviously actual DV situations require safeguarding, however many women lie about DV in family court situations because of legal aid or spite. If there are no safeguarding issues and 3 years contact has been fine, then try applying for overnight on alternate weekends and some sort of significant holidays (you don’t say what contact was ordered for xmas, summer etc?). If mediation (even third party?) is being repeatedly ignored then say so, and ask for cafcass to monitor contact. Set out what sort of family life the child will experience when with you all, make your case. Its all v difficult and daunting, esp without solicitor and family courts are too often a lottery and presume a public school version of parenting, but you can only try. Good luck, most kids want time to hang out with their dads.

    #17369 Report

    JFSunshine
    Participant

    The statement ‘Many women lie about domestic violence’ is totally unfounded ‘zerohoursdad’.

    #17382 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi JFSunshine. Please recognise that by stating that, I dont mean to deny those who do have to try to deal with the horror that is domestic violence at the hands of an abusive partner. However the truth is, increasingly, that claiming it is the only way into legal aid, so many women are taking advantage of that. Family court is full of unfounded allegations against decent, non violent men, and the women who do that undermine women who are suffering it in reality. Some recent statistics here. https://fnf.org.uk/news-events-2/press-releases/152-press-releases-2018-archive/477-press-release-increases-in-the-use-of-non-molestation-orders-since-scrapping-of-legal-aid

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