Long Term Bed Wetting (approaching 13)

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  • #17189 Report


    Hi All,

    I am new here, (nice to meet you 😊)!

    I am hoping to perhaps gain some insight and possible tried & tested methods used by parents who have experience of long term bed wetting with their child(ren).

    My son, who will be 13yrs next month has been bed wetting since the age of three. I am in no doubt as to why my son bed wets, both his Dad & I separated in 2011 although we were together for quite a while, the relationship was in my opinion, an absolute sham! Nonetheless we had two children together (I also have an older daughter from a previous relationship)  The father constantly walked out on the children & I which over the course of the relationship accumulated in his being absent throughout the majority of the time we were in a relationship and the remainder of our family life the children and I were fraught with anxiety and fear of upsetting the bullying/control/abuse which was fast becoming a normalised behaviour meted out by the father. (I won’t bore you with anals of it all, [I’ll save that for another post😋] I’m sure quite a number of you will possibly have endured similar!)

    What is apparent to me is that despite 7 yrs of being separated, my son has continued to bed wet. There have been periods of time where my son has woke up dry, but these aren’t prolonged periods of time,  although I feel substantial given that the father still feels he can control us.

    My son has on occasion looked quite demoralised by the incidences. As puberty is in full throttle, I am conscious of the delicate situation for my son at this influencial period of his short life and thp dilemma it presents to myself in terms of his being a young boy. We are very open as a family in that regard, the children and I are able to chat openly about our bodies and I firmly believe that we should use the proper names  and appropriate language about our bodies/anatomy as I believe this approach instills a sense of knowing and reassurance that isn’t akin to the taboos that linger so appallingly over society as a whole, I think if we are open and honest with our kids then they to will be open and honest with us as parents.

    I’ve pretty much took this approach with the bed wetting and although, reassurances to my son that it isn’t an issue in terms of cleaning the sheets and bedding etc, I am concerned about the impact it is having on my son at this tender stage of his life. I let him know that it’s not a problem as such, and that he isn’t at fault or blame. I want to be able to approach it with my son in terms of what practical things I can do that will alleviate the angst that goes with the bed wetting combined with showing him the respect and privacy that he requires during this stage as we both work towards drier more comfortable nights/mornings.


    I would be grateful if anyone has similar issues/experience/practical advice.


    Many thanks


    #17193 Report


    Hi my daughter is not a bed wetter but I stop drinks after  6pm.  She gets up to go loo when she has woken up. I was a bed wetter and still run to tjhe loo.   I dont give her  milk or hot chocolate in evening but try having a cut off time for drinking.  Have you thought about going to see a urologist to see if he or she can give  advice

    #17196 Report


    Hey shirl26

    From a medical perspective just pop along to your GP surgery and see either the GP/ANP/ACP and they’ll be able to offer some advice and maybe a referral to the Enuresis clinic. Is he dry throughout the day? They may suggest things like bed alarms, restricting fluids after a certain time, there are meds too that can help with bed wetting. It goes without saying that he’ll need a decent night sleep and really doesn’t need to be waking during the night to visit the loo or change bedding. If it was primary school I’d say speak to the school nurses, to be honest that might still be the quickest way to be seen by the Enuresis specialist. Just ask school for the school nursing team tel number and tackle it from both sides, school nurses and GP.

    Id recommend that you take along a urine sample to GP as they’ll likely want to exclude urine infection. That could be done whilst you’re there.

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