Urgh, where do I start… This is a long one.. So bare with me and I hope someone keeps reading until the end. Split up with my ex 7months ago, finally plucked up the courage to leave a 13yr 3 kids abusive relationship.. He was seeing the children regularly until I was made aware he was drug taking and poss dealing. Oh and then turned up to my house drunk tried getting into my house to get my current partner (had 7 kids in the house at the time) tried ramming into the car the kids and I were in then proceeded to knock me down with his van… Then had a police Chase past myself and my kids in a car I’d just given back to him … (he had also gone off the rails because even tho he mentally and physically abused me I done everything for him kept everything afloat kept house in my name) so when He also never took the kids anywhere just drove around for the time he had them… Stopped contact until he off and on I tried using my mum as a 3rd party so we needn’t speak or see each other as we just argue, he then started manipulating her so she called that a day I then contacted his mum to be the intermediary and that worked for a little time until she tryed blackmailing me.. So I knocked it on the head completely as he also had court end of Jan for driving offences and a public order offence.. So thought I’d wait and see if he ended up going to prison again (already been inside for driving offences) and thought I’d give him yet another chance once that was dealt with and wipe the slate clean, he had court was adjourned in between giving me no end of s**t he was being reasonable so thought OK I’ll start up the contact again, he saw them Sunday, Tues for an hour as sons bd, then asked to have them for tea (in his usual place.. A pub) this eve so I’ve dropped them off as he is banned atm, and all he does is bully, my cars dual mass is on the way out, why did I not bring our other son (3year old who was up all night with sickness so thought it best to keep him in the warm) so he could see his dad for 2 mins, I need to cheer up (well I’m fine til I’m around him) he just can’t be pleasent and I’ve had enough, I left him to prevent my kids seeing anymore than they already have but he’s still got to be a complete arse, and I just don’t want to have to deal with it, I keep trying keep giving him chance after chance and he just can’t suck it up for the kids sake… Where do I go from here? All this just isn’t working
I think I’d document all the abuse and the messing around, then I’d got to court and ask for an access order requiring him to use a contact centre or a trusted third party – his mum maybe? And no contact with you at all.
He needs to understand contact will stop if he won’t behave decently in front of his children. They deserve better.