Long distance co parenting & court orders

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  • #49524 Report


    This is exactly what I came here to look up & ask.

    I’ll shortly be moving 400 miles to  both sets of grandparents /extended family, I’ve a job there, and it’s cheaper cost if living do can support us both only working part time.

    My 2 year olds dad is suggesting alternating 2 weeks residency, ie 2 weeks with mum, 2 with dad.

    I hate this, for me and child.

    We separated before he was 1. Our plans were always to move closer to both our family’s, 400miles from our current location, before he was in school.

    Current location was driven by work/commuting distance and I have no ties here so have secured a job close to our families and will soon be moving.

    We currently do 50/50 (2-2-5-5) aside from 5 months of lockdown when we moved to family as ex wouldnt share childcare/reduce work.

    I want my son to see his dad, but 5hrs each way every 2 weeks seems mad.

    Is there president or just mediation or court?


    #49525 Report


    (I’m the bad guy for moving as always planned and not making his life easy by staying put, Im slowly seeing his control not my selfishness.

    He’s a teacher who’s prioritised work so I thought a school holiday schedule would have been welcomed.)

    #49526 Report


    As I understand it 50/50 or the 2 weeks alternating won’t work once your son is at school because they can only be enrolled in 1 school (that’s what I was told anyway). I would put forward a proposed schedule based on what will happen once your son is at school on the basis that establishing a routine of 50/50 contact now and getting him settled into it, then having to make big changes once he starts school will be hugely unsettling & potentially damaging for your son at a time when he will need maximum stability at home to help him adjust and settle into the huge change of starting school.

    I don’t think there’s any actual precedent in this country (because every case and child is different so there can’t be a standard solution), just mediation and court… And the outcomes from court are very much down to luck of the drawer on what magistrate/judge you get!

    #49527 Report


    Hi, snail 23. If you went to court your ex would get every other weekend and half of the holidays.  A big problem would be for your ex is if hes teaching at school how he would manage to drive to yours on a friday afternoon unless he left early in morning. Your ex partner could consider staying in accommodation in your area perhaps , but certainly 50-50 during term time wouldnt be possible

    #60212 Report


    Hi MamaBearr, do you mind me asking at what ages your LO was when his father jumped from 2 hours to 6 hours, and then from 6 hours to 30 hours? I’m in a similar situation to yourself. Thanks

    Also, did you say that you share the travelling on alternating on weekends? Is that something a court would usually decide? Thanks again 🙂

Viewing 5 posts - 16 through 20 (of 20 total)

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